Sex Shop

Here's a story that just happened today! Fresh! New! Hip! Trendy! ETC! Anyway, this just happened today, so it's fresh in my mind. Ironically, it probably won't be as long as my other usual stories, so...here goes.

Just like a lot of my other stories, I gotta provide a bit of background. So I've been hangin' out with this girl lately, she is a potentially datable girl, but who knows, we'll see. So this girl and I were hanging out one day, and I was telling her about my uncle and my aunt's respective bachelor and bachelorette parties (spoiler alert: That's going to be tomorrow's entry). My aunt's party involved a penis cake, I won't go into detail now, but let's just say the penis cake was rather...extravagant.

So this girl and I were talking about how when we hook up next, we should bake a penis cake. I thought it was a joke, but this was seriousness. We were going to go out, buy the mold, bake it, fill the middle with 'cream' and chow down. I really hope she didn't think I was gay when I agreed to this.

So there's a sex shop, but relative to where I live, it's a far ways away by bike. I don't have a car (yet), and she isn't old enough to go into the shop (She's 17, I'm 19. Just thought I'd throw that one out there). So I decided to ask my friend if I could borrow his car to go up there. This is mostly cause he doesn't get to use his car because he doesn't have his license. I have mine, but no car. I'll drive him places, I'll borrow the car from time to time, it works.

On a side note, my friend is gay. Quite gay. In case you're getting the wrong idea, I got nothing against those of the homosex. However, strolling into the sex shop together with someone who is quite gay got me a few weird glances.

I'm assuming at first, most people didn't want to assume anything, maybe we were just lookin' for some gag gifts or something. Maybe we both were going to get some porn. But without thinking about it, we both strolled over to the women's section of the store immediately and started to look at the dick shaped things. Bypassed everything, but just went to the dick section. When I go to buy anything, I like to go in, get what I need, and get out...which that last sentence seems a bit ironic thinking about where I was...

While we were looking, I found something that I found particularly humorous. There were a wall of various dildos. Although I did not stop and linger, I did glance at them. The thing I found weirdly funny was that the white dildo, 8' long. Brown dildo, 8½' long. The black dildo was 6' long. Now, I wouldn't know personally, but according to stereotypes, there was something quite inaccurate about that. I started cracking up very loudly in the middle of store, probably a bit ridiculously, and more eyes turned to look at the weird brown kid with his gay friend laughing at dildos.

Then I saw the price of the penis mold. Twenty dollars. Twenty dollars just so someone can bake a dick shaped cake. After that, I serious'd the fuck up. I called up my girly friend.

"Hey, bad news, I can't get the penis cake"

"Awww, why not?"

"It's twenty dollars. I only brought fifteen"

I figured telling her I was short money would bypass the, "I'm cheap and don't wanna pay twenty dollars for penis cake mold" and then her impending, "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase buy it" thing that would be inevitable.

Oh well, if she wants penis, she knows  where she can find one haha.