Almost Caught

This is a story of my adolescence, my younger teen years. I was about 14, and as a 14 year old male, I had those urges, you know of the one. Yup, this is going to be a masturbation story on how I was almost caught. It's a story I tell every now and then and thought I'd share here. I just figured I'd give you a heads up as to what you're about to read.

So when I was about 14, I was flickin' through the channels. It's about two o'clock in the morning, and I had remembered that our cable provider was releasing a free month of HBO and Cinemax. For anyone that does not know, HBO and Cinemax are movie channels that also play softcore pornography after midnight.

Now, after being exposed to the internet, that kind of stuff is child's play (though not in the literal sense, I am no pedo), but back then, this was a whole new world to me. We only had dial-up at that time, so on those nights when I wanted to try and use that, I had to use google images, type in 'boobs', [possibly repeat using other keywords in multiple tabs] turn safe search off, wait ten minutes for everything to load, lose interest and get impatient, check some emails, read some stuff, finish whatever I was reading, start closing everything, realize I got three tabs open with stuff open, close that, go back to my history, delete it, delete cookies, rinse and repeat another day. It was very tiring.

This however was something completely new to me. It was more than pictures it was people...actually going at it! They were fluidly moving and there were no fuzzy boxes from buffering or censoring to cover up the boobs! It was heaven to a horny teenager like me.

So for this month, I experimented in my house. I'm not saying like I experimented on my body. I mean, for a guy, it's pretty simple. Just rub it until you're done. 'nuff said. I mean I had to get every variable exactly right in order to minimize any and all risk.

I live in a very small trailer, so sound was a very large issue. I preferred the sound on, but too loud, and it would echo down the hall and into the room my mother slept in and that was something I was trying to do without. While she was away at work, I stood in her room and checked at what volume she would be able to hear at.

Using that as a baseline, I checked to see what I could hear in the hallway and subtracted from that. I got it down to an exact science. My volume was optimal at 4. If I strained my ears, I could hear it, but if someone was to walk down the hall, they would not.

I should've taken into account various other things, but I figured volume was all I needed. If I could hear my mom coming down the hall and change the channel in time and have a blanket handy to cover myself with, everything should be okay, right? Oh how wrong I was.

It was the middle of the month and it was another late night. No school in the morning meant I could stay up late and go to town. As I start, I hear noises down the trailer. They sounded light, so I completely disregarded them as my cat. That was a mistake.

I'm getting more and more into it, but out of the corner of my eye, I see a shadow start coming into the faint light emitted by the television set. My mind goes to primal instincts. My hand lunges out to the remote and switches it off. I sit up real straight, which looked as suspicious as fuck, and had on my best poker face. I had myself covered thank God.

But my mom isn't stupid. She looked at me. Her eyes boring into my face even in the darkness. She glanced at the TV. Put two and two together and looked back at me once more. It was such a agonizingly long five seconds. The only thing in my mind was, "Fuck. She knowssheknowssheknowssheknkows...I'm so fucking dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead."

"______, what were you watching?", her sleepiness could not hide the disdain and suspicion in her voice.

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit....
"Nothing, just some Comedy Central"

"Then why did you turn off the TV so fast?"

I tried to play it cool and shrugged, "I thought I was going to get in trouble for staying up really late" I don't know if she could see my facial expression, but everything about my body language to what I said was that once in a lifetime oscar worthy performance.

"Okay. Then turn it on"

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Now if you've been keeping up with this story, you'll remember that this story is called 'Almost Caught'. Heavy emphasis on the Almost part of that story. How the hell did I get away with this? How could I have gotten out without getting the shit beat out of me? That's what I was wondering at that time.

My mind ran so fast, that time almost seemed to stop. Comparative to the way that I moved and how long I could effectively move in that speed without my mom thinking I was stalling, my brain was being overclocked. I refused to be caught. It would not happen.

She turned her head and I raised the remote. My brain scoured every nook and cranny of my mind. Then the thought came to me as my thumb moved over the buttons.

Recall

We had a satellite box and I knew that that thing was always running regardless if the TV was on or not. It was my last hope. I tapped the command hoping that my aim for the box was true. Then the moment of truth. I hit the power.

The TV started up and the screen soon gave way to color. Bright, animated colors. It appeared that my plan had worked. It turned back to Drawn Together and I almost breathed a sigh of relief, but held it in lest I garner suspicion and my mom thinks the same thing.

My mom looked back at me with a shadow cast over her face. A deep glare set down into me. Deep down, I think we both knew I had just dodged a hail of gunfire and flaming arrows, but she couldn't prove it. I had just suffered three heart attacks at least, but I was safe.

"Turn the TV off and get to sleep", she deeply scowled.

I told her okay and scampered off to bed. I was victorious.




[Bonus] My older sister thought she had caught me fapping later on that month. I was flipping through the channels on the TV (it was about midnight at this point) and I was looking for the new movie premiere. In doing so, I had one of those blank stares that seem as if I was deep in concentration. She walked out into the living room right as I flicked to "Atlantic City Hookers".

She gave me that look. That disgusted look that tries to seem understanding but in doing so looks condescending. I didn't realized what I had flicked to until I saw the title and actually understood it. It couldn't have been anything relatively normal. It just had to be disgusting hookers from Atlantic City.

"Listen, it isn't what it looks like. I was just flipping through the channels and it just-"

"Yeah, yup, okay. I'll just go this way then..."

"I-but-it's not....Damn it..."