Stabbing

This might seem a bit dark, but I figured all kinds of humor are appreciated, especially as I watched Norm McDonald's standup last night. He talked about death for a half hour and had me cracking up the whole time, so I figured I'd talk about this.

About two years ago, here in Michigan, there was this woman who, for whatever reason, snapped. She just snapped and lost it and stabbed her baby. She stabbed her baby twelve times. Now, I know this might seem a bit unusual to talk about, especially on a blog that is usually about humorous stories. For the record, I do not condone or promote baby stabbing. If an ad pops up that says, "Do you want to stab a baby? Click here!" I did not condone that at all, it's all randomized.

Anyway, this woman attempted to kill her baby by stabbing it twelve times. If you did not find what was wrong in that sentence, let me retype it and make it more obvious. This woman ATTEMPTED to kill her baby by stabbing it TWELVE times. Now, again, while I do not enjoy the fact a baby was stabbed at all, the fact that this woman was a failure at killing a defenseless infant...is rather sad. Most people focused on the sadness of it; my mind went, "Wow, what a loser. She sucks at killing things".

Some people might think at this point, "well, the baby has got to be crippled or something. There's no way it'll live a normal life now." Well, except for the trauma of being stabbed by your own mother and the scars, she was due to make a FULL recovery. Which really rings the question, did this baby have eighty guardian angels or is this woman that stupid?

And I know, I know, when she gets into jail, someone at some point is going to ask, "hey, what're you in for?"

"...Attempted murder."

In which case the inmate might think, 'oh shit, this bitch be hardcore yo', but then most likely follow it up with, "who'd you try to kill? Ex-husband that was cheating on you?"

"Nah, my baby. Stabbed the thing twelve times. Thought that would've worked" and you know if that ever comes to light, she's on the bottom of the pecking order. Just for harming a childhood and doing something so terrible, and failing to get the job done, she's bottom bitch.

I know this was quite a dark post, but I decided to throw that down anyway. At least it's not the usual wall of text!

In some lighthearted news, I'm finally going to get a car in a bit, going to come into a bit of a winfall of cash, and I'm going out on a date with this girl I've liked for a bit. Looks like things are going well...for now.