Axe

I got a problem with those Axe body spray, body washes, and shampoo commercials. Not just Axe in general, but Tag, Bod and all those other ones. It's not cause I'm homophobic or something and freak out over half naked guys. I don't care about that. Or for some feminist reason. Cause I'm not a feminist. They annoy me because of one ridiculous reason. They're not ridiculous enough.

Watch any of those commercials, and usually, it's the same. It shows some guy at a party/beach/club or very social place attracting half naked women. He'll be in the middle of a crowd, some women will turn up their noses at the wind like dogs and just suddenly go, "Oh, my vagina sense are tingling. Time to hunt."

Then these women will prowl along, ignoring any thing that could be happening at the time, and search out the scent in question. Then, like a cat in heat, will usually start to rub up against their victim who for all they know, maybe just hates smelling bad, could be gay, or may even have a girlfriend that he's going to have to fight or watch be fought by this organization of women.

They have gotten more subtle as time has gone on though. I remember in the beginning, the guy would spray some on, and like a nuclear bomb of pheromones being introduced into an ecosystem, women from all over will suddenly sense the scent and mob rush this guy. If only it were so easy huh?

Now, the thing about these commercials is that I personally think it could be a lot better. Let's admit it, the guy who they show is a reasonably good looking guy. I'm not gay, but if I was a woman, I'd probably think that the guys they're showing is at least attractive. It'll be some skinny, but at least toned guy with good clothes that sprays this on, then in addition to looking good, he'll smell good too. Lady killer.

If they wanna make it better, show some rat ass ugly guys. Show a guy with a hockey players mouth (in other words, missing a fuck ton of teeth), patches of hair missing, one ear on their neck, super hunched back, a huge uneven beard with birds living in it, fat, infected sores on his arms or something. Show that guy stumbling around. Show him having no luck.

Next shot, have him spraying on the axe, or bathing with the body wash. Getting it on real good. Putting on some raggedy clothes and then go out somewhere. Show him again, making no luck with anyone until a woman presses her nose up against his face and have her face glowing with delight. Then show the other women in the area going, "Mmm, what be smellin' so damn good."

Then have the women run a train on this dude. Obviously they cannot show this part on tv, but that is definitely how they should run that commercial. They wanna sell product? Show that anyone can wear that cologne and be found attractive based upon scent. And I swear, if I see this idea in a commercial a couple months from now, I'm going to be pissed.