Texts from a Friend

So I have this friend named Chris. Him and I have known each other for ten years now. Ten extremely long years. As weird as it is, with the exception of my family, he is the person that I have known the longest in my life. It's definitely a very weird thing to think about.

Anyway, my friend Chris, he is certainly an oddball. Him and I, when it comes to our friendship, it's definitely an adverse thing. We get into fights all the time, hit each other, yell, argue, will go out of each our own way just to piss the other one off, and yet, we're still best of friends. Though who we are two completely different people when it comes to others.

I'm a very extroverted live wire who loves to think and do work. Swim, run, bike. He kinda likes to stay inside and keep contact from new people a minimal. He is quite antisocial always claiming that everyone 'annoys' him, but in reality, I know that he just cannot live up to confrontation unless he is in a large difference in power.

Anyway, this is how the title relates to Chris. Due to his antisocial tendencies, he doesn't always know how to talk people. However, he does have a phone and due to not being in direct contact with the person he's talking to, will just talk without thinking about the possible consequences of what he says. He can be a bit dumb like that.

Now, there have been a couple of times (and these are only times that I know of) where he has sent texts that are quite funny in how weird or creepy they are to say the least.

A two years ago, he shot a text to a mutual friend of ours who he lived quite close to.

[Chris] Hey, u wanna come over and watch the superbowl?

[Her] Nah, I don't really like football. Thanks tho.

[Chris] Cool, I don't really like it anyway. I just watch it for the commercials. U wanna come over anyway?

[Her] Why? What we gonna do?

[Chris] Well, I thought I could show you around my house...

[Chris] and around my room....

[Chris] and underneath my sheets....

When my friend showed me this, I cracked up at just how weird he can be and how glad I wasn't a girl at that point. Then there was one time when he shot me a text while I was at work and it just made me laugh my ass off and I had to show everyone.

[Chris] Hey, do you know any girls that would be willing to do sexual things with me while my dad is gone tonight?

For awhile, I had no idea what to respond to him, but I eventually got back with the text

[Me] Find your own whores. They're mine.

So you got any odd friends like this? Friends that send creepy texts like this? Leave'm below in the comments.