Bingo

So this little event happened over the Winter, sometime in January. I was hanging out with my friend Chris one day. We're chillin', hanging out, having fun. We went down to the Flea Market (Swap Meet, or in other words pretty much a large ass garage sale for people from all over).

We got bored and had a few extra bucks to blow off at Dixieland (the Flea Market) and decided to just look around at everything. We saw a lot of old records, CD's, clothes, jackets, board games, videos...Pretty much, it was just a big ol' nostalgia fest. We eventually found a stand selling really rare Yu-Gi-Oh cards and bought a bunch for real cheap and decided we would dig up our decks later and play each other for old times sake.

Before we left, he got a call from his mother. It turns out he forgot that it was Bingo night. He likes to go with his mom from time to time cause if she wins anything, he gets a cut of it. My friend asked me if I would like to go to Bingo with him and his mom. I was now faced with two decisions. Go home to my sister (who I have a great distaste for) or go play Bingo. I've never played Bingo before, so I decided to go on with that.

When we finally got there, I asked how long it would take. Chris said it would take about two maybe two and a half hours. I thought that sounded like a good bit of time to nap and catch up on some sleep so I wrapped myself up in my coat, popped the chair back and went to sleep...

[Fast forward two and a half hours]

The chilling cold started to settle into my jacket and I woke up shivering. I looked at my watch and saw that a lot of time had passed. They hadn't gotten out yet and the parking lot was still full, so I figured it was still on, but was going to get out soon. I took out my phone, gave a couple of girls a ring, talked a bit, but eventually started to question why they hadn't gotten out yet. It was about three hours since they went in.

I got out of the car, into the bingo hall and looked around. This place was HUGE. There was easily a hundred, maybe more, all playing Bingo. There were a few large screens with footage of the numbers being drawn being projected upon, but that was not my primary concern. Looking aloof, I was flagged down my friend only to find that they were only two thirds of the way done.

That's when my trip to number hell began.

As I sat there and heard number after number being called out, I found something out about myself that was rather odd. The longer I sat there, the more my soul would be extracted. My soul was exiting from my mouth, I could see it fleeting from my body as it sought something more. I desperately tried to keep it inside, but a stunning realization hit me. The reason why old people play Bingo. They go there to die.

Old people realize that they're not fit for the rapidly advancing world and want no part in it as the innocence that they once had is slowly destroyed by evil technology. They cannot keep up with what's going on around them. Or they could just be bored and miserable. Whatever their reason, they go there to shorten their life spans via soul absorption.

You could tell how miserable these people were. Desperately stamping every number called out with such precision and accuracy as fast as they can. Some of them would fill up whole tables with sheets of bingo sheets, others had machines that held HUNDREDS of bingo sheets in their memories and stamped it for them. These people were tenacious to say the least.

Then, they snapped at the bingo caller. This was something I could not understand. Apparently, this man was 'bad' at calling out numbers. At one point, a group of people actively jeered this man.

"B-16"

"HE SUCKS! WHAT'S HE DOING!? GET SOMEONE ELSE!!!"

"Please don't boo him, he's a new guy, he's learning the ropes."

The fact that he was 'bad' at calling out numbers because apparently you need training to do this advanced task just blew my mind. We left about an hour and a half later winning no money whatsoever at the cost of half my soul, and a feeling of dread over what the others might do. I know one thing I am never doing again. I hope you heed my warning and don't make the same mistake that I did.