Pranks

This is a prank that I'm really proud of being able to pull off. It's a story I like to tell in conversation every now and then.

A couple years ago, I was riding my bike around town, not doing too much. Taking up the suns rays, getting a good workout. A wonderful summer day. I didn't really feel like spending time with anybody, just a good time to be by myself.

I rode down a dirt road and while doing so, I rode by an old friends house. I ride by that house quite a bit, but I usually think nothing of it. He was a cool guy, but we didn't hang out much anymore. Still, I always take a look back at that house and think back upon fond memories of childhood. This particular afternoon would stick out past all of these.

Passing by his house, I saw a couple of cars lined up in the driveway. One of them I instantly recognized as my friend Duffy's minivan. It was a dull white with a WRIF (a Michigan Radio station that plays Rock) bumper sticker and a license plate that had two half naked women bordering it. Tacky, but his grandpa got it for him and it made it instantly recognizable.

Now this yard is set up so that the house and the yard is at the bottom of a very large hill, so I'm standing on the high ground along with all the cars parked up. I looked down and saw that a bunch of people were playing airsoft. Some of the people I recognized, others I did not. Regardless, as I saw this, a plan formulated in my head.

I went through my backpack (I carry everything in my backpack from a ballgag to a toothbrush to a change of clothes to spray paint to magazines to cash to food...it goes on) and retrieved a large roll of caution tape that I had found on the Fourth of July that year.

I took the bright yellow plastic and started my handiwork. Luckily, there was also a large expanse of trees that also helped cover me while I did my deed. I started wrapping the car in all three ways. Length by width by height. This roll was particularly large so I was able to wrap most of the car covering almost all of the white space.

This still wasn't enough.

I wrapped up the tires. Got in between the holes in the rims. I wrapped up the wipers. I wrapped up the bumper and fender. There was barely any part of this that was car that was not yellow or black with the words "CAUTION" with the exception of the windows.

But that still wasn't enough.

I had the good fortune that my friend Duffy left his van windows down. It was a particularly hot day, he had his keys on him, he had nothing of value in his car, and it was a safe neighborhood. Why not leave them down so it wasn't burning on the inside later?

Answer: So asshats like me don't get inside and wrap up the seats.

I started from the back and worked my way forward. All rows were completely covered. Headrests, back part and the seat itself. Even after covering all that, I still had a tiny bit of tape left. So I wrapped up his steering wheel and found a broken airsoft magazine and wrapped that.

I got out of the car and took the magazine. I targeted Duffy, screamed his named, and launched the yellow block down the hill through the air. He took a half second look, didn't seem to care, and actually ran in the opposite direction.

Sitting up on the hill admiring my handiwork, I motioned for a couple of the participants in the game to come over. One by one they came over and laughed at what happened and how thorough I was. It was something they definitely were not expecting to see that day.

Eventually, they cut the game short; he had to see what had happened. I got on my bike, ready to go. As he walked up the hill, they gave slight hints as to what happened.

"Caution Duffy, you might not wanna see this"

"Your car looks like it's been wrecked dude"

Things like that. He saw his car and saw me and knew exactly what had happened. He was speechless. I told him to check inside his car. His face had one of those expressions where he wanted to be angry, but it was so good that he couldn't be super mad. At least that's what I thought until he leveled his rifle at me.

"Hey. So you know you're taking that off right?"

I just laughed and rode away.