Smart Ass and Quick Thinking

I don't think this one will be a wall of text like a lot of my other posts, but it'll be just as good so strap in for the ride!

So back in second grade, I had a beast of a teacher. In the bad way though, not the good way. She was a bitch of a woman. Now, looking back, I did learn the difference between strict and mean. I had a lot of strict teachers, but this one was just monstrous. She'd make fun of kids, couldn't teach well, she'd yell at us at the top of her lungs. People in the basement could hear her, which was honestly no exaggeration.

Now, even as a kid I was a smart ass. I tend to talk a lot and while usually, it's in good humor, I can be a huge prick. I'm sure this has been clarified in other stories for those of you who have been following along, but it should be said here just so that it is now fully expressed.

The school I went to wasn't a very good school in terms of education. By second grade, people were still having trouble adding, subtracting, and reading. Or maybe my expectations were too high, but regardless, I quickly grew bored ever since I began kindergarten and so taught myself math and reading at home. I was already reading at what they declared to be a high school reading level.

What they did is they had papers that were filled with columns of words. Every week, the teacher would take each kid aside one by one, and see how many of the words they could read. They would read until a certain amount of errors were made and progress was apparently made. When I had done it, I had read every one of those sheets they had with ease.

When winter rolled by, there was an incentive given to improve reading skills. For every kid that was able to read up to a certain level would go on bowling field trip with whoever else throughout the second grade was also able to improve. Me, having burst through the ceiling and having no way to improve, asked what I could do. After thinking about it, the teacher said that if my school attendance improved, I could join.

I was sickly little kid. Whether this was because I moved from Hawaii to here in Michigan and my body just wasn't prepared for that or because of naturally having a shitty immune system. Who knows.

Anyway, the month or two rolled on and kids improved and I thought I had done better too. I showed up sick to school a couple times and figured I had to have been doing better. Then came the day the names were read.

"Efron...You made it. April... You didn't make it. _____... You didn't make it..." and she went on. I couldn't believe my ears. I had zoned out and couldn't think. I wasn't sure if I was more upset or disappointed.

Immediately afterwards, it was time to turn in some homework. I walked up there, feeling slowed by the crushing disappointment. I finally got to the front of the line and turned in my homework but before leaving, asked why I didn't get to go.

"Sorry ______, you're attendance just didn't improve that much. I can't let you go with us."

Me being the little prick I was responded, "Fine. I'm going to Hawaii anyway and you're not so there."

Troll attempt: Successful.

She snapped and I was almost afraid she was going to hit me. She yelled at me for five minutes straight and scared all my classmates. To see her lose it like that though was just as worth it then as it is now reflecting back on it. She then sent me down to the office to have a talk with the principal and my mom, but even the principal didn't care. She apparently didn't like the teacher either and let me go with a slap on the wrist. Felt good man.

Fast forward almost a decade to when I was a Junior in high school. While this isn't as elaborate, it still should be noted here anyway just cause I don't think there'll be a better time to list it.

To give a bit of a physical description of what I look like, or at least my head, or more specifically my hair, it's very thick, jet black, and has a lot of white strands in it. They're very noticeable and other people have described it has giving me a 'salt 'n' pepper' look.

How does this relate you ask? Well, One day I'm walking through the halls. Transitioning to my next class. Maybe it was math, Japanese, AP Biology, I don't know. While I was walking, a girl walking opposite but parallel to me stopped me in the middle of the hallway with a look of confusion in her eyes.

"Hey, did you know you got gray hair?", it's a characteristic that is often pointed out to me by people I meet at first. I usually laugh it off or sometimes I pretend to be surprised about it. I mean, it's my hair, and it's quite a permanent prominent product of growth. Of course I've noticed it. This day though, I sang a different tune.

"Oh, it's because I age faster", she met with a look of even greater confusion and asked what I meant.

"Well, I'm originally from Hawaii. We age a lot faster, kinda like dogs so thus I get gray hair kinda early. In Hawaiian years, I'm about 42."

"What? Why?", she seemed a bit skeptical, but she was pretty curious. So I followed it up.

"Well, being my native ancestry was closer to the equator, we went around the sun a lot faster than you would. So this characteristic was something that kinda got bred into my genetics as time moved on. So by the time I get to be about twenty five or thirty, I'll probably die. It sucks, but I've learned to live with it.", I said this all with fluidity and a straight face. I saw her eyes go from skeptical and disbelief to instant pity.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. That sucks so bad", she seemed genuinely remorseful for my 'plight'.

"Yeah, well, like I said, it happens. No point getting all sad about it ya know? Well I gotta get to class. Bye!", and with that, I ran off to the class I ended up being late to, but being I was going to die at tewnty five, meh, who cares right?