Super Smash Bros.

Well, I'm a huge gamer nerd, and as such, I've been watching a lot of G4TV in order to catch all the coverage of E3. So far, I'm very impressed with a lot of the strides that the industry has been making with special regards to the new Wii U and how developers are reacting to the technology in the Kinect. Some of the most relevant information that just made me giddy were the unveiling of many of the new 3DS games. I bought that thing a week after it came out, and I have to say I was impressed with it. The 3D certainly expanded my views on it; thought it was going to be gimmicky.

So while games like a revamped StarFox 3D and Luigi's Mansion 2 are games that really piqued my interest, what really made me squee was the information that they're finally getting around to making a handheld, portable version of Super Smash Bros. I've loved the series and its unique approach to the fighter genre and I've always wanted them to make one that you could take with you ever since the GBA.

For those of you who don't play video games and have no idea what I'm talking about, this is a summarized version of Super Smash Bros. (now going to be abbreviated to SSB). This game boasts a large roster of characters that you can choose from that are all (save for two characters in the latest installment) intellectual properties of Nintendo. They range from very well known characters like Mario and Pikachu to lesser known characters like the Ice Climbers and Marth. The point of the game is to smack around a foe or foes until you can smack them off the screen of play and thus lose a life. There is no HP, instead, there's damage percentages. The higher the percentage, the more likely that they can be hit off the stage.

So this got me thinking about a lot of my experiences with my game. I remember when I was a cocky little kid, I think it was in about sixth grade, and I got invited to my first birthday party (I wasn't a very popular little one). We went to a local football game but afterward headed back to the birthday kids house and booted up Super Smash Bros. Melee. I figured being I was the most likely to be the gaming nerd, I would be the best.

I started bragging about how good I was and how everyone was going down. E'erbody gonna die. They all just laughed and told me to prove it. They all picked characters I had thought were shitty and I picked a character I thought was amazing, Roy. It turned out, they were A LOT better than me. I got my asked kicked so hard. They employed shield dodges and just about every single attack of mine missed. Then they followed it up with a flurry of attacks and I would die. Easily.

I was usually the first person to die and they mocked me. I guess I deserved it, but I hated losing, and so I started the training montage. Long story short, I got better really fast just to kick their asses, and did. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it's losing. While I'm not a poor sport, I'm very, very competitive.

Then came the time in my Super Smash career when I entered tournaments. One tournament I will never forget. I was in the final round for Super Smash Bros. Brawl against another kid. I picked a character named Marth. He's quick, his range isn't too bad, and he's a pretty good aerial fighter. Good at jumping, nimble, and though his attacks aren't that damaging, they are quick to add up. My opponent picked Zero Suit Samus. Her description is quite similar to Marth's, except she doesn't have too good of a midrange game. She's good at long range and good at short range. I figured I had the advantage until the game told us what level we would play.

Big Blue.

If you don't play videogames and you're still reading this, let me explain. This is a shitty level. Remember how I said that if you go off the screen you die? Well this level has moving platforms that will eventually move off the stage. If you stay on it too long, you die. The ground is hard to explain, but for the most part, if you hit the ground, you automatically get sent off the stage and you die. Not only all of this, but most of the platforms are quite small and easy to get knocked off. While there is a lot of platforms, getting thrown onto the ground below them is quite common and quite an easy way to win. It was going to be a tricky battle.

We both hold our ground quite well. We trade blows back and forth. I try to stay out of her range and attack from the outside, but she was good at moving back in and dealing some good amounts of damage. We played with five lives each, and it seemed like everyone one of my lives that she killed, I would take one of hers. An even match.

Then came the moment we each had one life left. We fought valiantly and hard. We were both meticulous in our execution now more than ever. If we left the slightest opening, we could be instantly sent to the ground below and die. I tried to bait and tackle my opponent at one point. I jumped onto a platform as it was moving away hoping my opponent would chase me and I would easily knock them to the ground or at least away. They had anticipated that however. They dodged my attack in mid air and landed beside me.

They were able to attack me a couple of times and I was able to retaliate in an effective manner, but soon, the platform we were standing on was moving off of the stage. We each had 150%+ which meant that whoever got in the next attack was going to be the winner. It was all going to be about timing. We would both have to jump onto another platform and manage to get in the last killing blow or be killed. Easy as that, our instincts had taught us well.

I could sense the anticipation of the group of the fallen that was behind us had garnered. They watched with great interest as we each lost our lives one by one. Cheering and 'aww'ing when appropriate. But now, at this point, they knew as well what must happen. Jump and attack. Whoever was the quickest was going to be the winner.

It was now or never.

We both were in sync as we leaped off of our platform towards the next one. Our fingers grasped our controllers knowing how well we would have to time an attack and possibly an effective dodge in order to win. Then came the damnedest thing. My character somehow fell to the ground and was instantly dead.

"GAME!", the announcer declared. Nobody knew what happened. One second, tense anticipation, next second, I was dead. I did not point my character in the direction of certain death, so how did it happen?

We ran the replay of the end of the round. We all watched as our characters both jumped into the air. Everything seemed normal. Then came the crushing defeat. It appeared she used my face as a jumping point and kicked me into the ground. I didn't die and lose because of a lack of skill (well, I guess that's debatable), I lost because of a mechanic of the game. The girl jumped off of my face and kicked me into the ground automatically in order to win the tournament. I was devastated, but at least it made for an interesting story. Still pissed about it though.

So how about you my fellow bloggers? You enjoy video games? You keeping up with e3? Or is everything I just said complete gibberish? Post it below in the comments. Thanks for the support!

Music

Well, this is going to be a music post. A very weird music post at that.

Now, out of my friends, I am considered quite the oddball. If you go back through some of my earlier posts and stories, you could probably see that I'm kinda weird. Or maybe that's just me, but who knows, you be the judge of that. However, music is no different. Although I have a diverse set of friends who like all kinds of music, I have very eclectic tastes.

This is not to say that I don't like what they like, cause I do, but my tastes branch out. I like music that most people find very annoying or otherwise bad. A good portion of what I listen to may be considered 'underground', but not in the "I'm such a cool hipster kid, I listen to this cause it's not mainstream" type of underground, but the demographic is sooooo freaking tiny, it only appeals to people like me and possibly whoever is reading this.

I bring this up because I got into a few conversations (all unrelated from each other) last night about music. I started talking to one person about what kind of stuff they like (I'm just getting to know that person). I talked to a few others about what they were listening to. Hell, I was even making a playlist for what I was going to listen to in the shower. So me and that one person I'm getting to know better went back and forth with music that we liked, and my tastes...well, much like a lot of other people, they didn't sync up well.

I figured especially cause a good portion of the people I follow have some kind of music post, I might as well go with the flow and post one myself. I know you can really get to know a person based upon the music they like, and while I have listened to many tracks of the people I follow, I haven't thrown anything down. So here are a few songs.

The first song I'm going to post is a song from a genre called 'Hentaicore'. It's a hardcore techno track that uses sampling from various hentais. The title is in Japanese, but to English, it'd be, "Oniichan, Ramee!!!". It's hard to accurately describe what that means, sorry.



This next song is from an artist that I enjoy very much, Yngwie Malmsteen (pronounced Ing-Vay). He plays speed metal and lays down a shit ton of arpeggios and sweeping. Most of his songs are about this speed, and he's able to play them just as well live as well as in the studio. From time to time, he lays down some neoclassical bits which I fully enjoy as well.


This next song is a huge guilty pleasure. It's so damn catchy and I can't even understand what the hell they're saying most of the time. I don't even remember how the hell I found this, but I remember annoying the shit out of my friend who was with me when I did. Oh, and there's some hot Asian girls in it too, that's always a plus.



I feel kinda bad for possibly annoying the shit out of and/or poisoning your minds. All those songs are super fast, and I like it that way, but for some relief and to wind down, here's some nice mellow jazz.



Well, I hope you enjoyed at least one of those (I'm sure it was most likely the last one). I promise I'll put down something more worthwhile next time.

If you have any requests that you'd like to see me post about, just throw it down in the comments. Music, movies, books, more stories, whatever it is, I'll try my best. Thanks for the support~!

Axe

I got a problem with those Axe body spray, body washes, and shampoo commercials. Not just Axe in general, but Tag, Bod and all those other ones. It's not cause I'm homophobic or something and freak out over half naked guys. I don't care about that. Or for some feminist reason. Cause I'm not a feminist. They annoy me because of one ridiculous reason. They're not ridiculous enough.

Watch any of those commercials, and usually, it's the same. It shows some guy at a party/beach/club or very social place attracting half naked women. He'll be in the middle of a crowd, some women will turn up their noses at the wind like dogs and just suddenly go, "Oh, my vagina sense are tingling. Time to hunt."

Then these women will prowl along, ignoring any thing that could be happening at the time, and search out the scent in question. Then, like a cat in heat, will usually start to rub up against their victim who for all they know, maybe just hates smelling bad, could be gay, or may even have a girlfriend that he's going to have to fight or watch be fought by this organization of women.

They have gotten more subtle as time has gone on though. I remember in the beginning, the guy would spray some on, and like a nuclear bomb of pheromones being introduced into an ecosystem, women from all over will suddenly sense the scent and mob rush this guy. If only it were so easy huh?

Now, the thing about these commercials is that I personally think it could be a lot better. Let's admit it, the guy who they show is a reasonably good looking guy. I'm not gay, but if I was a woman, I'd probably think that the guys they're showing is at least attractive. It'll be some skinny, but at least toned guy with good clothes that sprays this on, then in addition to looking good, he'll smell good too. Lady killer.

If they wanna make it better, show some rat ass ugly guys. Show a guy with a hockey players mouth (in other words, missing a fuck ton of teeth), patches of hair missing, one ear on their neck, super hunched back, a huge uneven beard with birds living in it, fat, infected sores on his arms or something. Show that guy stumbling around. Show him having no luck.

Next shot, have him spraying on the axe, or bathing with the body wash. Getting it on real good. Putting on some raggedy clothes and then go out somewhere. Show him again, making no luck with anyone until a woman presses her nose up against his face and have her face glowing with delight. Then show the other women in the area going, "Mmm, what be smellin' so damn good."

Then have the women run a train on this dude. Obviously they cannot show this part on tv, but that is definitely how they should run that commercial. They wanna sell product? Show that anyone can wear that cologne and be found attractive based upon scent. And I swear, if I see this idea in a commercial a couple months from now, I'm going to be pissed.

Hentai

I'm sure most of you who are following me know what hentai is, or at least know it by some name. While the actual word itself does not directly translate to it, the main colloquial use of the word is to describe anime porn. Some of you may indulge in it and derive pleasure from it. Others may be quite turned off or otherwise disgusted by it, but I must say, it is quite hilarious in general when looking at it from a non-sexual standpoint.

It all began when I was in high school and my friend came back from the summer having gone to Japan. Him and I were in the same Japanese class and were interested in quite a lot of the same things as well as both of us having a perverse sense of humor. He brought back a book to show me that he got from a Japanese manga store (Japanese comic store).

First, though, I must describe the book store that he told me about. On the first floor has mainstream, or at least non pornographic comics. Things that would be suitable for kids or teens to stumble upon and not have their childhoods destroyed.

Then you go up a floor. This floor has softcore hentai. About on the same level as softcore porn here, nothing strange. There may be hentai parody's of popular fictional characters or they may be original ones. It varies.

Then you go up another floor. Now it's just become hardcore hentai. Maybe there's orgy's and other things. I don't know, I've never been there. I'm just going on the vague description I was given.

Then you go up another floor (noticing the pattern here?). This room is like the room underneath it plus tentacles and a few potatoes. I really wish that was an exaggeration, but I can believe it. Japan is weird.

Now think about this. There are three more rooms above that. It gets so bad, they must put curtains over the books so that people don't...You know, if you're already up there, you probably know what you're in for, so I don't see why they would do that. Here's the best part though, the only bathroom in the store was up on the fifth floor. Good luck with that people with tiny bladders.

So anyway, he got a relatively tame one (for Japanese standards at least, like I said, they're weird) called "She looks like sweet mermaid". I'll say one thing. It had no mermaids.

Pretty much, it was a compilation of stories where a woman has a problem, finds some guy, and sex solves EVERYTHING. We actually sat down to translate one of the stories. One of them was about a girl who was starting track, but realized her boobs got bigger and so she was apparently horribly off balance and couldn't run well.

How is this problem solved? Sex. Lots of raunchy sex that ends in both of them excreting more fluids than the human body actually has inside of it. Then it cuts to the next day and because of that little bit of sex (at least so is implied), she magically regained the ability to run.

Then I found out that this is a common motif within hentai.

"Oh snagglypuss! I just found out that my final exam is tomorrow and I haven't studied at all! I should get a tutor!"

[gets tutor, doesn't study, but has sex instead. She passes with 75/32 questions correct.]

"Oh snap, my car has stalled. I guess I better flag down some help"

[waves down woman with bigger breasts than his head, they have sex on the hood, car runs like a champ]

"I sure miss mom and dad. Things are lonely since they died in that fateful caterpillar excavation accident..."

[Woman from excavation team ends up showing up, they have sex, mom and dad come back to life]

That's pretty much the bare bones of every hentai ever. It's ridiculous, but hilarious. Oh Japan, you're so weird.

Amnesia

There's been a game that's been taking up my time recently. It's been keeping me up through the nights with a couple friends. It's a computer game. We'll throw it up onto the TV screen via HDMI cable, grab a USB mouse, play it up. It's a one player game, and so far, it's only been able to correctly run on my laptop, so I've been the only one to play it first hand so far. This game is called Amnesia: The Dark Descent.

This is a game that I found while reading a comic called Scandanavia and the World. It's a little comic that personifies various countries (focusing on the Nordic) with single characters (or at times it'll bring in the 'sister' character which is just the female version of the country). It pokes fun at the various ethnic stereotypes and interactions in the world and is quite funny if you get what's going on. Hell, it's pretty damn funny even if you don't know what's going on.

http://satwcomic.com/anything-but-that There's the link if you want.

If you don't feel like using the link, in this comic, one of the characters, Sweden is playing this game, and he's telling what's happening to America. He's describing terrifying actions that he as the player is doing. Meanwhile, America is just over his shoulder going, "Wow. Boring. Meh. This is lame" undermining it the whole time. As the actions get more gruesome, the other onlooking Nordic countries are looking on with terror while America is still watching with disinterest. That is until he sees a phallus (penis) on a character in which he freaks out in seeing, the obvious joke being how here in America, we are completely unfazed by violence, but when there's even the slightest bit of nudity, we gotta call up to the air force, the army, the navy, and even the aliens to get that shit out.

So while I was reading about this game, and being interested by psychologically thrilling things like that, it kind of got me interested, but I didn't really care all that much at that point. I just kept reading more comics. Then I saw that a youtube personality I enjoy, Lanipator, also played the game and was interesting enough to post his play through. That spurred my interest a little more and so I looked up the reviews, and many reviews talked about how terrifying it was.

Long story short, I talked to my friends about it (who apparently also heard of the game before me) and we decided to get it and try it out. We said we were going to play it together on the TV, but I was a little over eager and decided to play a bit of it for myself.

I must say, maybe it's because I actively immerse my imagination in things like video games and books, but this really gripped me. You wake up in a pool of your own blood, and follow your own trail of it to a room telling you that for the most part, you're an asshole how purposely chose to make yourself forget and trap yourself in some creepy ass castle and to figure out what the hell happened, and to kill some random guy. As mundane as that sounds, it's the overall atmosphere of things that give it its edge.

The music and sound effects are quite unnerving and startling. The movement is rather creeping rather than just a nice, upbeat jostle through the castle. The setting is very dark and foreboding for most of the game. You can find little bits of tinderboxes to light candles, but they are in very short supply. There are mysterious noises that if you're in serious concentration can make you jump and startle you.

Another thing that sets this aside is the 'Sanity' meter. The longer he stays in the dark, the more his grip on his sanity is loosened. The more insane he goes, the more noises he hears. Bugs start crawling all over the screen. The noises get louder. His vision gets really blurry. It makes the player feel a bit...helpless. While my friends couldn't get that part of the game, it was definitely something I had to remain vigilant about.

After twenty minutes in and reading that note and seeing EVERYTHING go black and my character (Daniel) fall to the floor I was too scarred, shut my laptop and said, "Fuck it. I am not going to bed if I play more. I'm done." I was scared enough then, but I later played more at my friends house.

As I roamed the castle, I would haphazardly throw things around for laughs. It was advised against because there were things 'following' me, but I didn't care too much. I figured I could just throw things at it and make a quick getaway. Then I was put to the test.

I walked out into a large hall, and out of the corner of the characters eye, a large movement is seen. A flesh colored humanoid creature is seen walking into another room. My friends jump and even I went, "Oh shit!", but it was in excitement. I arm myself with a chair (yes, a chair. There is nothing else) and I start to follow it.

"What the fuck are you doing man?! It's in there! It'll kill you! You can't kill it!"

"No, I know I gotta go this way."

We argued about it for a few moments, but in the end, I was the guy playing it, and I walked on. Right in front of the doorway, it was all or nothing. I charged into the room, chair in hand ready to throw it at whatever the fuck was in my way... then I heard a slight growl turn into a monstrous howl and we all screamed.

I dropped the chair, and I started yelling at the TV as I backtracked and ran, "OH FUCK OH SHIT OH FUCKING FUCK FUCK PURPLE PENGUINS SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! DEAR GOD IT'S AFTER ME SHIIIIIIIIIIT".

Oh how brave I was.

At least my friends did the same.

So as I ran, taking turns and not bothering to look behind me in case it was still behind me (I could've swore I heard its breathing, but it probably wasn't chasing me for long at all), my friends and I were all yelling. We must've sounded like little girls.

"Fuck where do I go!?!?!11?//1/!?!?!?!? I'm gonna die, I'm gonnda die, I'm donna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!", until I eventually hid...in a closet. I hid in a closet for probably about ten minutes as we sat there and stared at the screen whimpering wondering if it was going to find me and kill me.

After I finally emerged from my boudoir haven, we all realized that that was indeed where I had to go next. That was most definitely the place that I had to go through next. The thought just pissed us off as well as mortally scarred us.

Long story short, we did make it past that monster and now I am stuck at an area where I must traverse a series of flooded rooms hopping from one small box to another without landing in the water. Why you ask? Because if I land in the water, I will be eaten and killed by an invisible monster! How unfair is that? I don't even get to see what kills me.

Overall, if you're a fan of survival horror, it is definitely a game to pick up. Just about everything about the game is good except for the part that your character is an asshole that brought this upon themselves.

Supplements

As I've mentioned a couple times, I've been working out and trying to get healthier. This has been going on for a while, but before the past month, I was working mostly on muscle mass and strength. I was doing lots of varied pushups, sits ups, intense stretches, squats, etc. I was gaining muscle in quite satisfactory ways. I wasn't losing too much weight though. I knew I should've been doing more cardio, but at that time, I really hated it. I got extremely weak shin bones, so jogging and such isn't something I can really do.

So as I'm sitting watching TV one day, I see a commercial for a product called RipFire. It was a workout supplement that is supposed to boost workouts and thus boost weight loss to an extent. I'm usually kind of skeptical, but it gave a lot of home video footage of people talking about how it gave a boost to help them lose that quick extra 10-15 pounds in two weeks. It gave a free two week trial, and I thought that if they're giving two weeks free and people lose about ten pounds on it in two weeks, the worst that could happen is that it doesn't work... Right?

So I order, and it wasn't too bad. Just talked to a friendly guy who assured me of all the details and took care of all things that I asked. Everything was good. Then he transferred me to a contest to win 10,000 dollars. Alright, whatever.

I start talking to her, and I'm getting tired at this point. She just keeps going on and on about how she thinks I'm 'lucky' and how there's definitely a chance I'll win. I don't really care, but I try to remain polite. She asks name, I give it to her. Email, I give her my junk mail address. Then she asked for my credit card number.

"Woah, woah, Uhm...what do you need?"

"I need a credit card number, but don't worry. It'll be completely safe"

"....yeah, no. I'm going to have to pass on that"

"Oh, that's a shame. I really think you would've won. You sure? Alright, well, thanks for talking and before I go I'm going to transfer you over to a contest that you can win a free cruise in the Bahamas! Kthnxbai!"

"Ahh!!! Waitwaitwait"-click-"....Fuck."

So I wait, and while I didn't hang up (I just don't like hanging up on people, I feel it's insanely rude), I was quite frustrated and impatient at this point. A woman has picked up after a couple minutes giving me the same bit. The luckiness, wondering who'd I'd take. I finally get a word in edgewise and I make up some bull shit excuse about how I'm scared of going on boats cause cousins almost drowned me once by throwing me off of a boat. her sweet tone turns to pissed and she hangs up on me! As peeved as I was, I was more relieved to get off the phone with her.

And so I wait...

and wait....

waiting...

Then finally I get my packaged two weeks later. A week late, but I was just happy to get it. Though I ended up getting a whole bottle of the RipFire supplement. Then I look on the bottle and find that it has no ingredients listing. It pretty much just said, 'ey, take a couple of these before a workout. Good luck yo'.

This seemed fishy, but I look online for things about it. Apparently, it's pretty much a scam. If you use more than the recommended amount, they bill you for it. If you don't send it back in, they charge you fifty dollars for it. If you don't specifically say that you would no longer like to get supplements and MAKE them take you off the list, they will charge you fifty dollars, plus ANOTHER fifty dollars for the shipments they make after that.

But it gets better.

As I look around for reasons why they don't have an ingredients listing, I find something quite startling. I find out that it can have a few effects. Nausea. Okay, acceptable. It's a foreign thing going into your body, I can understand that. Headaches. Okay, that's usually another thing that links up with nausea. Male impotency. Okay, acce-wait, what?! Yeah, male impotency. Call me crazy, but I don't feel like having such an affliction this early in the game.

Then, I read that it can cause breast growth in men.  Just men. Which, I don't know, but to me, that seems like taking a couple steps backward. I'm trying to lose the man tits I got, not make them larger. It seemed really counter productive. So you can better believe I sent that shit back.

Moral of the story, you shouldn't order shit you see off TV ever if you want to have kids in the future and you're a man who doesn't like having tits attached to your body.

Smart Ass and Quick Thinking

I don't think this one will be a wall of text like a lot of my other posts, but it'll be just as good so strap in for the ride!

So back in second grade, I had a beast of a teacher. In the bad way though, not the good way. She was a bitch of a woman. Now, looking back, I did learn the difference between strict and mean. I had a lot of strict teachers, but this one was just monstrous. She'd make fun of kids, couldn't teach well, she'd yell at us at the top of her lungs. People in the basement could hear her, which was honestly no exaggeration.

Now, even as a kid I was a smart ass. I tend to talk a lot and while usually, it's in good humor, I can be a huge prick. I'm sure this has been clarified in other stories for those of you who have been following along, but it should be said here just so that it is now fully expressed.

The school I went to wasn't a very good school in terms of education. By second grade, people were still having trouble adding, subtracting, and reading. Or maybe my expectations were too high, but regardless, I quickly grew bored ever since I began kindergarten and so taught myself math and reading at home. I was already reading at what they declared to be a high school reading level.

What they did is they had papers that were filled with columns of words. Every week, the teacher would take each kid aside one by one, and see how many of the words they could read. They would read until a certain amount of errors were made and progress was apparently made. When I had done it, I had read every one of those sheets they had with ease.

When winter rolled by, there was an incentive given to improve reading skills. For every kid that was able to read up to a certain level would go on bowling field trip with whoever else throughout the second grade was also able to improve. Me, having burst through the ceiling and having no way to improve, asked what I could do. After thinking about it, the teacher said that if my school attendance improved, I could join.

I was sickly little kid. Whether this was because I moved from Hawaii to here in Michigan and my body just wasn't prepared for that or because of naturally having a shitty immune system. Who knows.

Anyway, the month or two rolled on and kids improved and I thought I had done better too. I showed up sick to school a couple times and figured I had to have been doing better. Then came the day the names were read.

"Efron...You made it. April... You didn't make it. _____... You didn't make it..." and she went on. I couldn't believe my ears. I had zoned out and couldn't think. I wasn't sure if I was more upset or disappointed.

Immediately afterwards, it was time to turn in some homework. I walked up there, feeling slowed by the crushing disappointment. I finally got to the front of the line and turned in my homework but before leaving, asked why I didn't get to go.

"Sorry ______, you're attendance just didn't improve that much. I can't let you go with us."

Me being the little prick I was responded, "Fine. I'm going to Hawaii anyway and you're not so there."

Troll attempt: Successful.

She snapped and I was almost afraid she was going to hit me. She yelled at me for five minutes straight and scared all my classmates. To see her lose it like that though was just as worth it then as it is now reflecting back on it. She then sent me down to the office to have a talk with the principal and my mom, but even the principal didn't care. She apparently didn't like the teacher either and let me go with a slap on the wrist. Felt good man.

Fast forward almost a decade to when I was a Junior in high school. While this isn't as elaborate, it still should be noted here anyway just cause I don't think there'll be a better time to list it.

To give a bit of a physical description of what I look like, or at least my head, or more specifically my hair, it's very thick, jet black, and has a lot of white strands in it. They're very noticeable and other people have described it has giving me a 'salt 'n' pepper' look.

How does this relate you ask? Well, One day I'm walking through the halls. Transitioning to my next class. Maybe it was math, Japanese, AP Biology, I don't know. While I was walking, a girl walking opposite but parallel to me stopped me in the middle of the hallway with a look of confusion in her eyes.

"Hey, did you know you got gray hair?", it's a characteristic that is often pointed out to me by people I meet at first. I usually laugh it off or sometimes I pretend to be surprised about it. I mean, it's my hair, and it's quite a permanent prominent product of growth. Of course I've noticed it. This day though, I sang a different tune.

"Oh, it's because I age faster", she met with a look of even greater confusion and asked what I meant.

"Well, I'm originally from Hawaii. We age a lot faster, kinda like dogs so thus I get gray hair kinda early. In Hawaiian years, I'm about 42."

"What? Why?", she seemed a bit skeptical, but she was pretty curious. So I followed it up.

"Well, being my native ancestry was closer to the equator, we went around the sun a lot faster than you would. So this characteristic was something that kinda got bred into my genetics as time moved on. So by the time I get to be about twenty five or thirty, I'll probably die. It sucks, but I've learned to live with it.", I said this all with fluidity and a straight face. I saw her eyes go from skeptical and disbelief to instant pity.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. That sucks so bad", she seemed genuinely remorseful for my 'plight'.

"Yeah, well, like I said, it happens. No point getting all sad about it ya know? Well I gotta get to class. Bye!", and with that, I ran off to the class I ended up being late to, but being I was going to die at tewnty five, meh, who cares right?