Explicit

Warning: This story is a bit explicit, dirty if you will. If a sexual story is more likely to disgust, offend, or piss you off, then you'd be best stopping right here. Otherwise, go ahead, read on.

So this is a story about a sexual escapade that happened about a year ago. I was just reminded about it earlier today from a friend and I thought I'd share with my audience of about twenty people.

So last year, I started talking to this girl that I hadn't to in awhile. Let's just call her Sarah. Now, I don't like getting out of touch with friends, it really bugs me. I like to stay in touch and keep friendships strong. She was no exception. I decided to text her and stuff and see how her life was going at that time.

Sarah proceeded to tell me about how things were going, and unfortunately it wasn't so well. She told me that her boyfriend broke up with her, her car was starting to break down, she was failing a class and some of her friends were being ass hats. I try to be a good friend, and the last few times she asked if we could hang out, I had to decline due to various reasons so this time, I asked if she was available. Luckily, she was and so she was going to be over.

Now, from the tone of the messages, and from our past, I knew that she really liked me and was attracted to me. I had no idea if that had changed or not, but I still did not want to be that guy and seem to take advantage of her, so I decided to set up some defense so that hopefully she wouldn't get tempted.

My little brother was out (he was two at the time) so I figured that would make anything she'd try awkward. I had my dog out and he gets really excited and jumps and barks at anything that moves. I also decided to chew on some gum, 5 Solstice to be exact, because a couple of my gal pals said that they hate it when they're making out with their boyfriends and they have something in their mouth already.

Sarah comes over and we decide to watch some TV, she's sitting next to me and we're just chatting and such. My dog decides to go to sleep. I didn't notice it at the time, but the dog leaves.

We're still talking, and then my sister comes over and decides she wants to take my little brother to the park. I noticed that one, but at that moment, I didn't really think about it. I was just happy to be talking to an old, childhood friend.

Then, what seems like out of nowhere, she pulls me on top of her and starts making out with me. Now, she's a nice a nice and girl and she is definitely attractive so who was I to complain about it. I did not have the capacity or self discipline to say no.

Oh, and about that gum? At some point, she breaks contact and says, "Wow...you taste, really good...You wanna taste me?", she winked, and I almost laughed from the corniness, but I knew that would destroy the mood so I kept it inside.

We get deeper, I get underneath her shirt, she gives me a lap dance, I'm not going to say too much more, I don't wanna seem like too much of a douche. So here comes the humorous part.

I start to go down on her. She's having a good time, she like what's going on and I enjoy giving it to her. I had read a tutorial from a place that I cannot mention on how to perform the dirty act of cunnilingus and decided to employ it masterfully. Long story short, she cums and she soon leaves after that leaving me with a case of blue balls. But that's a different story.

So she leaves and I decide that I remember I have to make dinner before my family gets home, or at least start it. So you remember that gum I was chewing earlier? Yeah, well I had forgotten to take it out of my mouth. And although she was groomed, she was not without hair.

At first, I did not realize anything was wrong. I was chewing on my gum making chili when the stunning realization crept on me. There was something in my gum...that was not gum. I pulled my gum out of my mouth and there was a couple curly hairs peakin' out at me. It was quite...gross. It was probably the nastiest sexual thing that had happened to me.

Moral of the story: Never go down with gum in your mouth.

Moral Two of the story: If you visit someone that lives in a trailer park, lock your doors. All her CD's were stolen while she was here.