Doctor's Visit

This is a short story about when I had to go to the doctor's last summer. The saga began when I was at a party. My friend's brother had gotten back from the Marines, so that meant it was time for partyin'. While it was fun, it wasn't any different from other parties. Food, games, fun, drinking, though I don't drink personally. I can't even drink pop without it burning my mouth and throat, but I digress. That night when I went to sleep, I started to feel really odd. I felt an overwhelming cold, but that house is always so cold (in the winter, you can see your breath), that I figured it was just the environment. Later as I slept, I felt a complete switch to being super hot and started to feel a dull pain in my head. I thought that maybe I was just a bit dehydrated, or at the worse, I was going to get the flu. If only I was so lucky.

Days later, the condition only worsened. After a couple days, my fever got a bit higher, but thankfully not high enough to really warrant any troubles over that specifically. So I took care of my already sick little brother and sister. They needed my help more than I needed to rest. What I didn't notice at the time was that little brother was playing bio-terrorist and kept on drinking out of my drinks. I noticed a couple times, though I didn't think anything of it. 'I got a strong immune system, it'll be alright'. Oh boy how wrong I was.

Meanwhile, the headache wouldn't go away. My mom got pissed for a couple days cause she thought that I had started drinking at that party and I had an extreme hangover, though after the second day, she figured I was probably a bit sick and got of that theory.

Now, I really, REALLY hate taking any kind of medicine, the idea of medication floating around in me pisses me off, so for awhile I refused to take any kind of Aspirin. At a certain point it got so bad, I kinda had to tap out and take the meds. That unfortunately, did nothing. My headache eventually turned into a migraine of such huge proportions. It felt like a railroad spike was being slowly twisted into my head from all angles. My mom finally took me to the hospital.

At the hospital, I took a couple of tests. Remember that time before when I thought I might have been getting the flu? Yeah, turns out that I had something called Viral Meningitis. For anyone that doesn't know what that is, it's a disease that attacks the fluids in the spinal column. Yay!

They had the general hint that that is what it was, but in order to be fully certain they had to give me a spinal tap. Some people are a bit confused as to what that is. Well, a spinal tap is when (if you don't like needles, just skip down a paragraph) they take a five inch needle and insert it into your spine. I had to have it injected, ALL OF IT, into my lower spine. Twice. I gotta say, although they gave a tiny bit of numbing medication, it's still the weirdest feeling to feel a needle scraping on your vertebrate column.

So after the spinal tap, they drew some blood and left to take some tests. When they came back, the doctor said that the results of my test came in, and even though by this time they had doped me up on a couple pain drugs (morphine being the big one), I was still able to ask the question I've always wanted to ask a doctor.

"Hey, have the results of my midichlorian test come back yet doc?", if you don't know what that is, you need to watch Star Wars.

The doctor didn't even bat an eye, his immediate response was, "Yes, and it appears that the force is startlingly strong within you. After this you shall be training with Master Plo-Koon."

My mom barely even got what that was even to mean, she just understood the force part of that. My nurse just gave us the weirdest ass look ever like we just spoke another language. I had the biggest grin that I got the smart doctor. Yes, the fact that he knew Star Wars made him the smart doctor.

So the results came back in, and I did indeed have Viral Meningitis and I'd have to stay in the hospital in a few days to make sure I didn't have Bacterial Meningitis. If I had that one, shit was gonna get real.

So I went upstairs and stayed in a room. I took a nice long sleep (I woke up really early with that headache so I was still quite sleepy. In combination with the drugs, I was just knocked out). When I woke up, I realized I hadn't eaten a thing so I decided to order some room service. I know they say hospital food is terrible, but I decided to take a chance. I ordered a turkey sandwich, some vanilla wafers, a banana and some water.

It came and I started to scarf down the sandwich, I was a lot hungrier than I thought. It was a week full of mistakes for me. I threw up the sandwich, and to feel mushy bread and the texture of deli meat coming back up through the esophagus is the weirdest thing. So I threw that up, called in a nurse, they took it away.

A few moments later, I decided I still needed something in my stomach, and I know it's always good to eat crackers when you're throwing up. In my mind, vanilla wafers = crackers, so that was the next thing to go. Well, my body started to kick it back. I literally spoke out at my stomach.

"Really? You're going to throw up wafers? Don't be a puss, keep it dow-Blllllaehakhdkcahuikushdikfuhaikhfkhkash....Fuck you stomach". So Again I called the nurse to take my puke bucket.

After throwing up twice, I figured I was probably quite dehydrated so I decided to drink the water, and if you've been reading this, you can probably predict with great accuracy what happened next.

"God damn it stomach, don't do this to me. You're going to kick back water!? You're such an asshole. Keep. It. Bllaaaarrgggghljoakwejfpasdvwoeifjoidf...You suck". By this time, I wouldn't blame the nurse if she hated me by now.

It was found out that the reason why I was throwing up so much was because I am one of a very small group of people who have a bad reaction to morphine. Woot. So they switched me over to some other stuff and I went to bed again, though this time when I woke up, I was able to actually eat, and eat I did.

The next day, it was relaxing. I was able to just be in some peace and quiet, away from my loud ass family and sleep. I watched a couple of classic movies and the nurse that I had was quite intrigued that someone kind of young would be interested in that sort of thing.

This nurse was really cute. She was a black girl, probably in her mid twenties, going through med school, pretty voice. After the classic movies, I started to switch to the Discovery Channel and watched that. A show about medical weed came on and she entered the room while I was watching it and we talking about weed ( I don't smoke, and she said neither did she, but we had a large talk about it nonetheless). We talked about music and got to know each other, and I felt kinda bad I was keeping her all to myself. Kinda.

Every time she left, she'd always say something like, "Well...I gotta go, unless there's...anything else that you need?"

Me being the pervert that I am, thought she might be hinting at a little somethin' somethin', though I figured that wasn't the case. I know that only happens in porn, and I couldn't possibly have been that lucky. Plus, it would've made every trip after that awkward if I tried to make a move. Still, I think I should have.

She eventually got switched out with another nurse, a man nurse, for the midnight shift. He was a pretty cool guy, a black dude, we talked a little bit. Though there was one awkward moment.

He asked what I thought about T.O. and some other football player being on the same team that season. Well, I don't watch football, I watch hockey and asked him if he knew anything about that. He just stared back at me and said, "Dude, I'm black. I have no idea about anything about hockey".

So long story made a little bit shorter, I got better, had the most relaxing three days I've ever had, and went home...only to find that I had to stay home for a week. So what did I do that week? I watched a TON of anime. It's just how I roll as a cool kid.