Gone But Not Forgotten

It's been quite awhile since I've written here. I doubt updating this now is going to do anything, I doubt anyone will read it, but hey, if you're here, cool, thanks. I just need a place to write down my thoughts and this is the best place to do it I think.

So in the past few months, I've gotten a job, and I'm pretty damn successful in what I do. I'm a technology sales man at an office supplies store. I'm consistently one of the top sellers in the entire region (as in a few of the states around here, not just a couple of stores). A gift, a talent of mine is manipulation, and I have a sick pride over it. To best describe it, I'm close to that of Izaya Orihara from Durarara, Light Yagami from DeathNote or Slevin Klevra from Lucky # Slevin. Don't get the references? Well, these three characters are people who are exceptionally brilliant, although they don't always make it apparent. They are excellent at calculating people and getting them to act the way they need them to in order to accomplish this goal. I'm not going to lie, maybe not the most noble skill to have in life, but it's a skill that's nice to have nonetheless.

So while sure, it's nice to help decent people out, my main concern is to 'up-sell' if possible. All that means is if someone is looking to buy...let's say a laptop, I make sure they leave with some antivirus software and a hardware insurance plan. I'm that kind of salesman, and I'm damn good at it. Like I said, it's a sickening pride I have over it. My capture rate on how well I can suck someone into something like that is extremely high. That's what the job entails and when I have a job to do, I make sure I'm the best at it.

I got good at it by reading a lot of con artistry books. That's what all business is, just one big con, so that's why I boned up on my reading. I took every tactic I read in the books I have and apply it to this job. It works effectively and gets me what I want. I've sold it on things that shouldn't even deserve an insurance plan on it, just because I could. I've sold it on mice, backpacks, chairs, calculators, thumb drives...I know, I'm a terrible person.

However, that's not the only thing I do.

At my job, there is this one person I completely hated. He was lazy and dragged down the store. Now, normally, I really wouldn't care. What he wanted to do was all up to him. If he wanted to do nothing and get fired because of it, that was one thing. However, when it comes to making money, I only make commission (the whole reason why I care about making sales in the first place) when the entire store hits a sales goal. He would not sell anything which brought down the store's sales; my sales, thus no commission for me. I would be okay with this, possibly, if he could do something, but many, many days would I be stuck pulling his work, making me do double the tasks. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind working hard, but when I have to do other people's work because they're lazy, that's when I get pissed. So I hatched a plan.

How in the world could I get him out of there...? I was not going to go to management because they didn't even know how to manage the store. If they couldn't get him to work, how were they going to get him out of there? I couldn't overwork him, he would just leave it all to me and it would be counterproductive to me. So instead, I went with self destruction. I knew his weak points, the things that made him tick and set him off. I used this to my advantage.

There's this girl he absolutely hates. He could not stand her in the least, and her him. So I used that to my advantage and combated them against each other. I kept at it on both sides, goading each other to do something, but discretely of course. Just little nudges like, "Hey man, that's not cool how...." or, "I can't believe he did this. That's not right....Right?" until it finally all paid off. Yelled at her and told her off to the point of tears and so she tagged that as harassment and he got fired quite quickly. I was happy for a time...but then it got quite boring. Nothing I can do about that at the moment, but now I got something completely different on my mind which, weirdly enough, is also work related.

But first, let me take this back a bit to something a bit more light hearted. At the beginning of November, I went to a large anime convention. It had 10,000 people, roughly, and it was the most fun I've had. No exaggeration. I stayed in a hotel for three days and actually got to bond with people who understood my weird quirkiness. I was in a rave for 6 hours. Constant moving and dancing. And so many damn stairs. The elevators were always full so I had to always walk up and down to my room which was on the twentieth floor. That probably took away from all the McDonalds I ate when I was there. Still, those things are not even the best part.

The Bondage Panel.

I'm very much into bondage. Nothing super hardcore, I'm not the type that's into full leather body suits with zippers over every orifice and D-rings for restraints. Just some light bondage, a few ropes maybe, just a little bit of restraint.

I went in expecting to learn somethings, and I learned quite a lot. I learned quite a few knots and ties. How to tie up a person completely or just do their hands or even just their legs. What made it great was the girl I met there. That's what made this experience amazing. She was a very well endowed girl dressed as a french maid. Very cute and she smelled like cotton candy. Delicious.

I don't know how I got so lucky, but she sat next to me, and when people started separating off, I quickly chose her before anyone else could. I was not going to let this opportunity pass. She gladly accepted and let me practice tying her up...at first I was such a failure though haha. I stayed confident though and I talked to her, flirted it up, even got a number. I should've finalized though and stayed the night in her room (we were in a hotel for crying out loud), but I wasn't ballzy enough.

So back to work story. I told this one girl who I've always had my eye on at my job about the bondage panel. She's a darkly cute girl who I've fancied for a bit. She's quite the interesting girl, very skinny, very petite. I knew that she was into at least a few weird things, so I decided to run that by her, a bit of bait for I knew it would perk her interest, and next thing I know, she's on the hook.

I start to flirt with her a little more than usual and we start to texting, and next thing I know, she wants me to have sex with her. She just wants a no strings attached thing, purely physical. If you're reading this and you've kept up with all of my posts, you know that I'm that guy that girls just kinda use as emotional support. She said right to me, "I want to fuck you and steal your virginity away from you" (yes, I still am a virgin), something just snapped inside of me. I decided that I'm done being that guy that lets girls step all over me.

I take her over to my house, and we're chilling in my bed and we start making out. I take off her shirt and pants and everything underneath all before I even take off any article of clothing. She's a bit nervous, from the way I act at work, "the Nice Guy", she never would've expected something like this out of me a month prior. I just kiss her and I start to work. Then I stop. I realize I'm letting all my teachings from the beginning of the month go to waste.

I run to the bathroom, grab the tie I was wearing and come out. She's wondering what I'm about to do and I quickly and expertly tie up her hands. Then I make her squirm. I'm not going to go too far into detail, but unfortunately, the story ends with she needs to leave and I'm still a virgin.

Now, I'm not just a monster, I actually do like this girl. I don't want to just have sex with her and not give a shit even though she wanted to have a no strings attached thing. Although from the above you wouldn't be able to tell, I'm quite a romantic and when it comes to charming a lady, apparently I'm top notch at that. I tell her all sorts of sweet things, however, I do not lie. That is one thing I will not do. Everything I say to her is truth, and it appears that she is starting to feel something for me. Which is apparently bad.

She says she's still in love with her Ex, and they meet all the time and have crazy passionate sex, partly in thanks to me. They always had sex, but that was just for pleasure, but ever since I started getting into things, she said it's become a lot more passionate. Which pisses me off, but I can't help it. The sweet nothings I tell her really charges her up, and then this guy takes advantage of my hardwork. I hate it, but c'est la vie.

So now she's at a crossroads. She' constantly tell she doesn't want to hurt me. I've been hurt in the past, people use me all the time, I keep on telling her I don't give a shit, but she's still afraid to hurt me. However, I think she might be just scared of getting hurt herself. From the way she acts, I think she's afraid I'm going to hurt her and so she doesn't want to get involved with me. She always says she falls back on her ex but has commitment issues and so ends up cheating on him and the process occurs over and over again. Maybe this is just me, but it really seems like she's just always scared of being hurt and so she goes off and finds another guy before she can let him hurt her. I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy.

So now this is dragging me down. She's all depressed partly because of me and there's nothing I can do about it. I really want her, but I know that in the end, there's no way I can have her. I'm just waiting for the inevitable. No matter how charming I am, I do not believer there is hope. It's already done, I can feel it. But hey, it was fun while it lasted. Her lips were always soft and she always smelled good. Her body was always soft and warm and was fun to cuddle with.

Then that brings up the last dilemma. The maid. I really like her too, but she lives far away. I talk to her all the time and that girl puts the biggest, goofiest grins on my face saying the sweet things she does. I already know she's into the same things I am into, hell, she's into more things than I am. She's sweet and beautiful and cute. But I've never officially hung out with her. I'm hoping that when I finally do meet her, something will blossom out of it.

That's going to be Friday, December the 9th. I am going to spend so much money, but I just hope she's worth it. But this puts me in a dilemma. I really do like my coworker, I really like her. She's the first person who has ever actually taken my feelings into account of anything at all. She's completely open and honest with me which is something I have a hard time finding in my life; anyone who is honest. It's very endearing.

Then there's the Maid. She's very sweet and kind and cute. She's as nerdy as I am and funny. I really like her too, but there's the problem of her living so far away.

I just don't know what to do at this point, but I think I'll know by Friday. Man, I always like having a harem in High School because I never had to choose, never really wanted to given the girls that were in it. But now, even just two girls are too much... I'm such a hopeless cause.

Oh first world problems.