Dream

Had a dream, just wanted to log it before I forgot about it. If anyone is reading this, you can pretty much just ignore this entire post. It's really nothing meaningful.

So I had a dream in about an hour span of time. I woke up, did some stuff around the house, decided fuck it, I don't wanna do things around the house anymore, and went back to bed. In the hour I fell asleep, I had the most wonderfully terrible dream.

I was hanging out with a few close friends, but one of them is my friend Gen. She's a wonderful girl, even if she doesn't always think so herself. She's always been there for me and been the only one who I feel has been completely honest with me. Told me I was shit when I was being shit and complimented me greatly when I did something fantastic. I opened up to her like nobody else because I feel like she understands me, mostly cause she shares a lot of the same quirks and oddities I do.

I mean, sure, we do disagree upon quite a few things, but that's just being human. It's not like she's my cyborg female clone. Or my real life Rule...whatever the rule is that says for every male character, somewhere on the internet there is a female version, that rule. Coincidentally to what I just said, I only know her through the glory that is the internet.

We met a long time ago on Gaiaonline. Like the anime teenage myspace/facebook. It was great fun for awhile, hell, we met in a thread about tentacle rape. That's where it all started. Out of all the people who I have ever met online, she is the only one I ever felt was worth a damn to keep up with. She has ensnared me with interest and I make it a point to keep in touch. Out of all my friends, she is probably one of the few people that I truly care about. As cold hearted as that sounds, I do care quite a bit for my friends, but with her it's just different.

When most of my friends are having a down time, for whatever reason, I can't help but feel like they're complaining. When she's having a down day, even when in hindsight it could be the most asinine reason, I listen with a sympathetic ear and can't help but feel for her. It's odd; nobody stirs that kind of feeling in me really.

So back to this dream I had.

I had a dream that I was hanging out with her and a couple of people. It was my friend Joel, her, someone else who probably is someone I made up just to have a fourth, and Gen. We were hanging out in a restaurant, though we weren't eating, just hanging out and talking. Sharing jokes, and immediately I should have known it was a dream just because of her mere existence being near me, but I guess although I have lucidly dreamed on occasion, my subconscious wouldn't let me do it this time in risk I could lose what was happening.

So eventually we left and we ended up in a weird staircase place where there were weird paintings and placards as well as chutes to get immediately to other places. But her and I, it was just us and we were talking and holding hands. Then finally, she grew bold and got in my face and almost challenged me to make a move; which I graciously accepted and kissed her. I don't know how long it lasted, but it felt good. So then we decided to up to my dorm (apparently I decided to join college at this point), but there were so many people in there and we couldn't get them to leave. So then she said that the stairwell was private enough and she said she was going to go change and to meet me there.

I ran there as fast as I could, but because my dreams have to have something weird in them, I suddenly was thrust into a zombie warzone. Someone threw body armor at me, gave me a gun, and ordered me to fire upon the zombie horde. We had all kinds of warriors, current military style, knights with ridiculously large armor that you usually only see in fantasy movies/novels, ninjas, all kinds slaying the undead horde. Any other time I would've found this amazing and super fun, but as I gunned down zombie after zombie, I only had her in my mind and making sure to not be late.

I took the front line and made sure to shoot down every single thing I could see. Luckily I had infinite ammo (at least my dream got that part right) being I never reloaded once and took down every last shambling piece of undead. I was congratulated on my valiant efforts, but I didn't care. The only thing I cared about at that moment was to shower off the stench of the undead and get the blood off me. I bolted back upstairs only to be stopped by a teacher who started yelling at me for skipping class.

I was getting stressed at this point cause I knew she was waiting for me and I wanted nothing more than to be with her. My teacher said that if I drank this nasty drink I could go. Then he laughed and proceeded to explain what was supposedly in it, but I disregarded everything he said and drank it in haste ignoring all taste. Everyone gasped and even he was surprised to see anyone drink it with such gusto. I started walking out, but then my legs grew sluggish.

I felt my legs get heavier with each step. Then my body started tilting backwards and the familiar ringing of my alarm started to chime in my ears. I resisted and tried to stay in the dream and stand up fully. Gen was waiting for me and I would not, could not, disappoint her, I've done it too many times. Though my will was not strong enough. My body slammed backwards onto the floor and I bolted up right in my bed.

I looked at my alarm and saw it ringing. I set it too early. Much too early. My heart hurt because I know that even in my dreams I will fail in finding any kind of love. It still does. What a shitty way to begin the day. Work from 3-9? Doesn't mean shit to me anymore.