Def Leppard

I haven't written here in awhile, I've been so busy with work, and every time I go to try it, I can't ever think of anything, but I started keeping a log of things to write about, so here's hoping I can keep back up with this again. So, here's something that happened last month, but first let me start back to the beginning of summer.

There was this girl, she was a piece of Jailbait to be honest, but not terribly young. I'm nineteen, she's seventeen, I don't see anything wrong with that. She's a cute little red head and pretty funny, even if through her naivete sometimes. I hung out with her quite often over the summer (she was the subject in a post actually, the one I went to the flea market with and got some stuff), but I could tell I was going to be friendzoned. I mean, hell, even her father liked me.

Oh, yeah, her father. Let me give you a bit of perspective on her father.

First, physical traits: His arms are fucking HUGE. And I don't mean this like, "oh yeah, he has some big arms, he's kind of a scary guy with the right shadowing". I mean his arms are huge because he used to pull SEMI TRUCKS in competition for a living. Yeah. That fucking big. Keep that in mind.

Second, psychological traits: Kicked his daughter out at one point because she wanted to talk to him because she thought she might be bisexual. Straight up kicked her right the fuck out for a couple weeks. Just because of that. From what I've seen and heard, the guy isn't even some kind of super Christian, he's just an ass.

Third, he has a gun collection: Yeah. Because his fucking arms weren't enough. He had to have a gun collection.

So fast forward to August 20th. Def Leppard is in town. It's a band I enjoy. It's a band she loves. I figured I'd take her there and try and make a move. Then I found out it was more like her family taking me along. Damn it. I already said I was going to go though and I am a man of my word.

Fortune smiled upon me that night however. It appeared he was too pissed off at his girlfriend to go to this concert and enjoy it, so instead, it was just going to be me and her. Things were looking up. I was secretly happy, ecstatic even, but I kept it inside. Then he asked me something that kinda took me aback.

"So do you know how to shoot a gun?"

I couldn't tell if he was asking because he wanted to gauge how 'dangerous' I was. I knew he was also quite racist so I wasn't sure if he was chalking me up to a black stereotype or not.

"Uhm....Why?"

"Just answer the question. DO you know...how to fire a gun?"

"I...I guess? I mean, if I had to shoot somebody, I'm sure I could figure out how to just point it and shoot it"

"Well listen, I'm going to give you this gun and if a man tries to do anything inappropriate with my daughter, you shoot them."

In my head: Oh, hahaha, he's trying to intimidate me by subtly letting me know he has a gun.

...

Wait. Is he serious? No, he can't be serious.
The look in his eyes suggested otherwise though. I just kinda nervously laughed and told him I'd shoot myself in the foot if he gave it to me, still, he tried to push it on me. Luckily, his girlfriend stepped in and told him to stop being 'silly'. Maybe I'm just innocent, but offering some kid you've met twice a gun isn't being silly. But hey, maybe I'm just a bit chaste.

Then we got down to a bit of business. He was planning on making me the manager of a pizza place he owned. Was going to pay me well. Going to get free food all the time. Life looked pretty damn good. Didn't even have to fill out an application. Fuck yeah, connections.

So then we left. Got to be front row at the concert and was even there in time to see Heart open up for them. I tried making a move a few times at the concert, putting my hand around her waist, trying to get real close to her, putting my hand around her shoulder, but she just kinda brushed it off. Eventually, I took the hint and just let it be and enjoyed the concert.

This is where things get tricky.

The concert didn't get out till eleven.
Dad thought it got out at ten.
I waited a good hour to let all the drunk traffic go ahead of me.
Didn't leave till midnight.
Stopped for ice cream.

That's when I got the angry phone call.

"WHERETHEFUCKISMYDAUGHTERIWANTHERASSHOMEI'MGOINGTOKICKYOURASSIFSHEISN'TFUCKINGHOMERIGHTUFKCINGNOW"

I tried to explain the situation, I told him I'd talk to him about it, but that just pissed him off even more. I told him how he was wrong and how I was trying to be, y'know, responsible and not dead, but he wouldn't have it. He was fucking furious.

So now take this into account.

His arms are as big as my torso. He has a gun collection. His mental state is....something that is lacking. And I have his underage daughter. And (according to his schedule) she's two hours late.

After that, I drove home as fast as I could and dropped her off. I was going to stay and talk to him, but she told me that was a horrible idea. And apparently he wasn't even there at the house and was circling around in the parking lots of the venue. He made it there in four minutes and, with normal driving, it takes fours minutes to get off their street and another fifteen to get there.

That night was just a weird one in general. I mean, if something happened, ANYTHING, even anything like a kiss happened, it would've made all that anger directed at me justified, but nothing happened. At least I got to sit front row there. It would've been more profitable to get another girl though I suppose.

Reflecting on it though, I guess in the end it was a good thing I didn't take that gun from him. That....would've been awkward as fuck to try and get back to him.

"Oh, yeah, here ya go. I know you're super pissed at me. Here's your gun back" :D