Intimate Moments

Song of the night: Steelix - Lay it Down

I got into a talk with someone a few years my junior because they seemed to have a misguided idea about what romance is. For that matter, perhaps I even do, but I remember having very similar thoughts to them when I was their age. The flowers, the chocolates, the dates while all have their own classic notion of what romance is, I let them know that relationships aren't always like that. Sometimes the most romantic thing you can do is have some pizza and ice cream with a nice movie. The most romantic notions can be doing something for someone out of sheer affection.

Listening to this song and thinking about my past experiences make me crave intimacy. Beyond the intimacy of love making, it's the little bits of human contact that I have been seeking out and have been finding little success in finding. Perhaps I'm over romanticizing things, I tend to do that, but I still miss the feelings nonetheless.

I miss the feeling of someone I truly care about laying down next to me. Playing with their hair and smelling the shampoo they use and falling deep into the scent. The warmth, radiating off of them, contained in the atmosphere or a blanket. While I have shared a bed with a couple of different people lately, I still have yet to grasp onto that feeling of inner warmth. If anything, these last few have been nothing more than a means to an end that my body has grown accustomed to. My body reaches out to grab onto something familiar, but my arms full, I feel no shivers that find their way across my skin.

I have this intense longing to dance with someone close. For some reason, it's always been about dancing for me even though I cannot dance. The intensity of holding someone close with something as familiar as music and rhythm driving me. The feeling I've had while my fingertips trace the outlines of emotion along their arms and thighs. Dancing along like a puppet to the strings of a musician; blood pumping, ears throbbing, touch and balance heightened.

I just want something to inspire that again. Something that I don't feel like I have to hide,