Xephyr found himself in an odd stupor, not saying a word and listening to the hum of the engine in the car he wound up in. Damian decided it would be best if they had all split up and gotten to Alexandria in their own way. He decided he would hitchhike. Normal people would advise against doing such a thing, both going out to hitchhike and picking up one, but Xephyr was not a normal person and the man who had picked him up must have been different in his own way as well. Perhaps too trusting? Naive? The words pondered back and forth in Xephyr's mind.
The man had tried starting conversation, trying to make Xephyr feel comfortable, or maybe it was just for the man's own need for companionship with those around him. Xephyr being lost in his own thoughts about taking down Revenant only nodded and said a couple words when they seemed necessary. He felt bad, cause he knew that this man was nice enough to pick up a stranger, especially as suspicious as he looked.
Xephyr had walked down highways, thumb up towards the morning skies. Xephyr donned a white tank-top and black jeans along with his two usual items, a special black trench coat and his signature indigo sunglasses. Sometimes, he wished that the trench coat wasn't so necessary, but it had saved him almost every time in the few battles he had been in after escaping Revenant. It carried four firearms along with sixteen magazines; four for each. Various snacks and water packs. A zippo lighter. Two medium length Katanas, his prized Kodachis, were amazingly enough sowed into the hip. It hid a cache of goods that would scare almost anyone if they found out, especially on a hitchhiker of all people.
"...Catacombs?", the voice broke Xephyr's deep zone.
"Sorry, what'd you say?", trying to sound like he had just misheard that one question instead of never listening to him at all.
"Why do ya wanna see the catacombs? 'Scuse me if I'm wrong, but you don' look like the type who just packs up ta go see da sights on a whim", the man chuckled a bit. Xephyr chucked himself at the irony of it. That pretty much hit the nail on the head-except for the part where he'd be part of destroying the sights too.
"Actually, I have my history major and Egypt always piqued my interest. So I decided to fly down and decided to check it out. I had a rental car, but it broke down. "
"So ya just left'er there on the side of the road?"
"Yeah, I really didn't have an option.", Xephyr smiled his genuine smile. Perfected over the years.
"Odd...I don't remember seeing a car on the side of the road...but maybe someone took it 'ey?", he winked at that last statement. This was a very peculiar man, very perceptive to things.
Xephyr stayed silent for a few more moments, staring out into the shimmering horizon of the waters as the afternoon sun glistened upon it. He rolled down the window a bit and felt the wind whip his hair about. This was one of the few times he was grateful his memories remained intact from his first life. Xephyr was still able to appreciate all the little things; like air dancing between his follicles and twirling on his scalp, massaging his face. He meant to close his eyes for a moment but became an unexpected victim to sleep.
Roughly an hour and a half later, he was awoken by the gentle nudging of his driver.
"Hey buddy...You awake?", Xephyr's eyes snapped open and his hands immediately shot towards his weaponry. His left hand flicked off the safety on his gun and right hand on the hilt of his kodachi and both of them were almost drawn until in the next instant he remembered where he was.
"Yeah...I'm sorry, I just don't like to be woken up by other people", he forced a natural laugh like it was a natural mistake, which it was.
"'Ey, no worries. I just thought ya might like to know that we've arrived", and indeed, Xephyr had found himself at the Catacombs.
"Oh, thanks man. Here, let me give you some cash for gas", He had begun to go into his pockets for some cash, but the man had waived it away.
"Nah, keep it. I was goin' this way anyway. 'Sides, I can tell you got somethin' serious to do. You just got this look in yer eyes. Just try not to hurt anyone capiche?", Xephyr was kinda flabbergasted that a normal human was able to see so much out of him. It almost hurt as he stepped outta the vehicle.
"Oh, yeah, and even though it's underground, it can get pretty hot down there. Be careful and get some water when you can. Nobody wants to get heat stroke'"
"Thank you sir", Xephyr waved with sincerity and walked towards the entrance looking for anyone who have may had already shown up.
Skylar was in an unsettled state of mind. She was on her way to the catacombs coming from the North on a bus. Cars was already on the list of dislikes and having to share the vehicle with noisy, obnoxious passengers just annoyed her even more. She couldn't stand the naturally obtrusive public, and she let out a small groan in dissatisfaction as she saw a mother of two noisy, probably bratty, children walk onto the bus and right past her. One of the children looked barely old enough to walk, but was still enough just old enough to irritate her. As the child ambled on by, it reached up and tried to touch her, but with a sharp glare, the mother ushered the child away. However, to Skylar's dismay, to sit right behind her.
Skylar shrugged it off as much as she could. It could have been worse. It could have been some old men, or even young men for that matter, oggling her. That was what she had a problem with. When she was looked over with lust. She was a pretty specimen, but she always tried to dull her appearance, especially in this case to blend in with the crowd. Skylar had worn her hair up in a messy pony tail, no need to do anything elaborate. She sported a tanned button up with short sleeves to if anything be able to blend in with the various sand and stones a bit. A pair of loose fitting khakis was just thrown onto match with some white tennis shoes. The thing that she made sure to be particularly careful of was the large backpack she had.
It looked normal enough, just a pack that any high school or college student or even a tourist would sling across their back. The inside however was anything but. There was only two contents in the bag, but what they were were the most vital of the mission. Stowed away were explosives, enough to take out a city block at the least and the laptop that would detonate it. She made sure to keep that away especially from the two kids that decided to take residency in her vicinity.
As the bus slowed to a halt at the next stop, a man across the seat got out freeing it. The woman as well as her two children moved over to the next seat with the smaller of the two children sitting on the mother's lap by the window and the older closer to the aisle. Skylar didn't have to look at the kid or even acknowledge him to feel the pushy gaze that the kid bored into her face. It obstructed everything in her peripherals and took up her concentration.
Skylar took an icy breath through clenched teeth, closed her eyes, and let it out. She tried to ignore the kid and dully focused a bit more on the white noise all around. A woman talking on her cell phone towards the back. A man snoring unusually loud somewhere. The voices of a few teenagers roaring in laughter over some asinine joke no doubt. Yet, Skylar had learned that those were the times they lived in and that there was no escaping it. She tried to dampen the noise with her own thoughts and tried to meditate on her own goals at hand for a moment when something poked her cheek.
Eyes snapping open, she saw the staring kids finger still lingering in the air, pointing at her, eyes accompanied by a blank expression. Any older, and Skylar would've broken it right then and there. Even so, she was still contemplating it, although she knew she couldn't draw any attention to herself whatsoever.
"Missus...Whasin the bag?"
Skylar opened her mouth to mouth off at the kid, something cliche about how the kid shouldn't be talking to strangers or something trite and cliche, but the mother quickly sensed the disturbance and drew her kid in with her hand, clasping it over the kids gaping hole. At least the mother was smart enough to know when someone ought not to be bugged.
"Michael! What have I told you about keeping your hands to yourself?! I'm terribly sorry Miss"
"Oh, no, don't worry about it. I don't mind it with inattentive mothers let their kids poke me in the face and stick their noses in my business. It doesn't bother me one bit", the mother seemed apologetic enough, but that wasn't going to prevent her from being bit into.
Luckily, Skylar didn't have to wait for a response. She saw the catacombs looming ahead and pulled the string to get off the bus, but not before giving the little boy another dagger tipped glance. As she stepped out into the noon Egyptian heat, she regretted not bringing a hat, already feeling the intense heat bearing down on her long blonde hair. Draping the backpack over her shoulder carefully, she set off towards the catacombs.
Skylar passed by a couple places to sit, and her lazy tendencies were a great temptation. She decided against it when she looked down at her watch and saw the time creeping by when they were all supposed to meet near the entrance. Skylar didn't want to be late and be seen in anyway similar as The Voice, so she walked on.
Speak of the devil... She thought to herself seeing Xephyr in his 'signature' black trench coat and his purple hair. Sighing, already knowing that the captain was going to say something about how he specifically told us all to blend in well and thus was going to have to chastise Xephyr was something that Skylar was getting annoyed with just thinking about.
(Edit One: Just a short edit, like you suggested, I changed up the wording. I agree with what you said. Still going to add in more characters. Also, good catch on the 'dawned' 'donned' thing.)
(Edit Two: Added in the perspective of Skylar, The Explosive Soul. Going to add in Anya The Firebreather then Jack the Innocent, then lastly, Damian. Haven't slept in a couple days so excuse how this edit turned out, can't think straight, but I need to keep up on this. Also, if I should just add in each new character as a separate blag post and just connect them all through title to make things easier, just let me know.
As always, criticisms, concerns, comments, and suggestions are welcome. Thanks for taking the time to read)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Chapter One
The Vengeful Spirit, Damian, walked with hard footsteps, metal boots slamming down onto the wooden steps. A mix of emotions were running up and down his mind. Damian was very pleased at the fact that the mission overall was a success. However, he could not pretend to be without trouble at the death of one of his most valuable comrades, Roland, The Shadow. His sacrifice hopefully would not be in vain and that the team could still accomplish their goals without him.
As Damian stepped down to the concrete floor, the team he had assembled was staring back at him, all with different looks in their eyes. Each one of them a question or an assumption; about the mission no less. Damian, didn't even need his uncanny ability to search out details to realize that someone was already late to this meeting, setting a strain on his mind even further.
The Innocent, Jack sensing the unease shrank down a bit. Jack was already nervous enough having learned that one of his friends had just died. Jack was named the Innocent for a reason. He ambled over to the corner of the room and aimlessly paced around lost in his own thought desperately trying not to make eye contact with his captain again. He pulled his hat over his eyes just in case.
The Explosive Soul, Skylar, locked eyes with the Captain for a moment then broke it. Not out of fear or apprehensiveness, just out of sheer indifference. Skylar feared nobody, not even death's icy grip; not like any of them did at this point. It's not that she disliked others, it's just that she didn't care for them either. The death of one of their teammates was just another statistic in her mind. It was to be expected. If the captain was upset about it, it was his own issue.
The Fire Breather, Anya, was the only one to keep eye contact with Damian. It was a soft gaze, yet focused. Questioning. Her eyes were the sharpest of them all, and Damian, or anyone else she set her sights upon, could feel it. Constantly prodding, seeking an opening of some kind in which to somehow exploit for whatever need she may have in mind. Her questions, whatever they may be, would be answered soon enough. Although, one had to be answered now.
"Where's the Voice? Isn't he with you?", Anya spoke with a delightfully inquisitive tone unfitting for the atmosphere of the room.
The door creaked open, "Yo, someone sa-"
Damian pulled out a small firearm on his hip, a Sig Sauer, finger greased onto the trigger aimed at the door. The Voice, Xephyr, already had a small khukiri on the neck of his captain. Both of them had moved out of sheer reflex, but in the short range, it was clear who the victor was. Damian was disappointed in himself that he could have died right then, but elated that he still had a challenge. Even more so that one of his subordinates was able to move so swiftly in and sloped area.
"Too slow, Captain", Xephyr said nonchalantly, slipping the knife back into his coat, "I hope that excuses my tardiness"
Damian's first instinct was to hit Xephyr, but just like everyone else, he had his title for a reason. Even so, just about everything about this man made Damian grind his teeth.
Xephyr took a seat on one of the couches in the basement that they found themselves in, kicked his feet up onto the table, and pushed his sunglasses further up the bridge of his nose. Always so casual. It was abnormal. Always slacking off, being relaxed. It should have been a crime how carefree someone could be. If it wasn't for how very few there already was, Damian would not hesitate even for a moment to kick him out of here.
"Everyone, please, take The Voice's example and lounge about on the sofa's so we can get this meeting started", making the sarcasm as heavy as possible, though it was intentionally lost upon Xephyr's ears.
"As all of you know we lost Roland. He gave up his life defeating the Hunter. Let's not make his sacrifice a bigger loss than it is. The Hunter was one of the biggest threats to our plans. To have vanquished him by himself is commendable. We shall honor that by moving forward quickly."
Damian pulled out various maps and documents, "This will be our first target. It's called Alexandria."
"Oh, is that the place in Egypt?", Anya chimed in. Jack made an attempt to say something, he opened his mouth, but in the end said nothing and just pulled his hat deeper over his eyes.
Damian raised his eyebrows, "That is correct. It is the second largest city in Egypt with many admirable sights in its own right. Our primary target is one such place called the Catacombs of Kom el Shoqafa. As the name says, it is a catacombs and is thus underground. It is a major tourist hotspot so there we will easily be able to blend into the crowds. It will be easy to get down inside."
"Uhm...to do what exactly...sir?", Damian couldn't help but smile. He wasn't sure whether it was form how cute he found Jack sometimes or if he was just excited to be able to tell them of his plan.
"I'm very glad you asked. That's where you", he referenced the silent Skylar, "are going to earn your keep."
"You want me to blow it up", not so much a question as it was confirmation. Damian liked that about her. No questions unless absolutely necessary.
"Correct. We're going to quickly move in there, plant some explosives at the lowest levels, implode it. We need to keep the casualties to a minimum."
As soon as Damian mentioned that word, the eyes of Jack deadened a bit. It almost hurt to look at him. To tell him he's going to be apart of this. Anya stiffened up a bit, but barely even noticeable, especially when she was next to Jack. If Xephyr had some kind of after thought on this, his body didn't show it. His eyes hidden behind glasses and his body still looking relaxed as ever. Skylar remained stoic.
"Wait...you said we? Why we?", Jack piped in.
"Because we're a team. We need to be there for Skylar whether she needs it or not and whether she likes it or not. Plus, we don't know if Revenant won't have some way of intercepting us. We need to be able to support each other. Each of us are very crucial to each mission with something vital that will be important to have in battle."
Jack slowly nodded in understanding. Damian went over the rest of the details of the plan. How they would move, rendezvous point, second rendezvous point should there be need for one and where to meet afterward. Various points in where to retreat, vital equipment, and most importantly, at least to himself, time. They said very little, which was odd in the case of Xephyr. It was a shorter meeting than expected.
"That will be all for this meeting. Get some sleep. Needless to say, it'll be necessary."
They all stood up in their own pace and walked up the stairs ready for slumber, each mentally preparing themselves for the tolls the mission would place on their minds.
(Again, another draft. Will go more into character detail in the next chapter. I felt that this chapter was a bit...odd. Maybe that's because I've never really written anything before. The storyline will be made more clear later. Again, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.)
As Damian stepped down to the concrete floor, the team he had assembled was staring back at him, all with different looks in their eyes. Each one of them a question or an assumption; about the mission no less. Damian, didn't even need his uncanny ability to search out details to realize that someone was already late to this meeting, setting a strain on his mind even further.
The Innocent, Jack sensing the unease shrank down a bit. Jack was already nervous enough having learned that one of his friends had just died. Jack was named the Innocent for a reason. He ambled over to the corner of the room and aimlessly paced around lost in his own thought desperately trying not to make eye contact with his captain again. He pulled his hat over his eyes just in case.
The Explosive Soul, Skylar, locked eyes with the Captain for a moment then broke it. Not out of fear or apprehensiveness, just out of sheer indifference. Skylar feared nobody, not even death's icy grip; not like any of them did at this point. It's not that she disliked others, it's just that she didn't care for them either. The death of one of their teammates was just another statistic in her mind. It was to be expected. If the captain was upset about it, it was his own issue.
The Fire Breather, Anya, was the only one to keep eye contact with Damian. It was a soft gaze, yet focused. Questioning. Her eyes were the sharpest of them all, and Damian, or anyone else she set her sights upon, could feel it. Constantly prodding, seeking an opening of some kind in which to somehow exploit for whatever need she may have in mind. Her questions, whatever they may be, would be answered soon enough. Although, one had to be answered now.
"Where's the Voice? Isn't he with you?", Anya spoke with a delightfully inquisitive tone unfitting for the atmosphere of the room.
The door creaked open, "Yo, someone sa-"
Damian pulled out a small firearm on his hip, a Sig Sauer, finger greased onto the trigger aimed at the door. The Voice, Xephyr, already had a small khukiri on the neck of his captain. Both of them had moved out of sheer reflex, but in the short range, it was clear who the victor was. Damian was disappointed in himself that he could have died right then, but elated that he still had a challenge. Even more so that one of his subordinates was able to move so swiftly in and sloped area.
"Too slow, Captain", Xephyr said nonchalantly, slipping the knife back into his coat, "I hope that excuses my tardiness"
Damian's first instinct was to hit Xephyr, but just like everyone else, he had his title for a reason. Even so, just about everything about this man made Damian grind his teeth.
Xephyr took a seat on one of the couches in the basement that they found themselves in, kicked his feet up onto the table, and pushed his sunglasses further up the bridge of his nose. Always so casual. It was abnormal. Always slacking off, being relaxed. It should have been a crime how carefree someone could be. If it wasn't for how very few there already was, Damian would not hesitate even for a moment to kick him out of here.
"Everyone, please, take The Voice's example and lounge about on the sofa's so we can get this meeting started", making the sarcasm as heavy as possible, though it was intentionally lost upon Xephyr's ears.
"As all of you know we lost Roland. He gave up his life defeating the Hunter. Let's not make his sacrifice a bigger loss than it is. The Hunter was one of the biggest threats to our plans. To have vanquished him by himself is commendable. We shall honor that by moving forward quickly."
Damian pulled out various maps and documents, "This will be our first target. It's called Alexandria."
"Oh, is that the place in Egypt?", Anya chimed in. Jack made an attempt to say something, he opened his mouth, but in the end said nothing and just pulled his hat deeper over his eyes.
Damian raised his eyebrows, "That is correct. It is the second largest city in Egypt with many admirable sights in its own right. Our primary target is one such place called the Catacombs of Kom el Shoqafa. As the name says, it is a catacombs and is thus underground. It is a major tourist hotspot so there we will easily be able to blend into the crowds. It will be easy to get down inside."
"Uhm...to do what exactly...sir?", Damian couldn't help but smile. He wasn't sure whether it was form how cute he found Jack sometimes or if he was just excited to be able to tell them of his plan.
"I'm very glad you asked. That's where you", he referenced the silent Skylar, "are going to earn your keep."
"You want me to blow it up", not so much a question as it was confirmation. Damian liked that about her. No questions unless absolutely necessary.
"Correct. We're going to quickly move in there, plant some explosives at the lowest levels, implode it. We need to keep the casualties to a minimum."
As soon as Damian mentioned that word, the eyes of Jack deadened a bit. It almost hurt to look at him. To tell him he's going to be apart of this. Anya stiffened up a bit, but barely even noticeable, especially when she was next to Jack. If Xephyr had some kind of after thought on this, his body didn't show it. His eyes hidden behind glasses and his body still looking relaxed as ever. Skylar remained stoic.
"Wait...you said we? Why we?", Jack piped in.
"Because we're a team. We need to be there for Skylar whether she needs it or not and whether she likes it or not. Plus, we don't know if Revenant won't have some way of intercepting us. We need to be able to support each other. Each of us are very crucial to each mission with something vital that will be important to have in battle."
Jack slowly nodded in understanding. Damian went over the rest of the details of the plan. How they would move, rendezvous point, second rendezvous point should there be need for one and where to meet afterward. Various points in where to retreat, vital equipment, and most importantly, at least to himself, time. They said very little, which was odd in the case of Xephyr. It was a shorter meeting than expected.
"That will be all for this meeting. Get some sleep. Needless to say, it'll be necessary."
They all stood up in their own pace and walked up the stairs ready for slumber, each mentally preparing themselves for the tolls the mission would place on their minds.
(Again, another draft. Will go more into character detail in the next chapter. I felt that this chapter was a bit...odd. Maybe that's because I've never really written anything before. The storyline will be made more clear later. Again, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Prologue (Draft)
Clang, Clang, Clang...
The heavy footsteps of the Hunter clanging out into the infinite darkness of the abandoned factory. Even as his mask muffled his breathing, the heavy exhales the soldier continued to make echoed into the darkness. Even so, the Hunter did not care. No matter how loud he stomped, he knew that it was nowhere near as loud as his prey's beating heart. The soldier had cornered him in the darkness, the game was soon coming to a close, and they both knew it. He was quick, efficient, and that's why he was always chosen to make kills like these.
They may have been of the same species, but they were of the same in the way that a domesticated house cat and lion are. The Hunter was quicker, stronger, and above all, ruthless. Even with a mask on, his enemy could never see even the briefest glimpse of mercy from his eyes. This was no different. The Hunter had already sank his teeth into this one, now all that was left was to snap the neck.
As quiet as his prey had been, the Hunter still was able to sense the faintest of sound and stopped a rusty pipe from being smashed against the back of his neck. He snapped around and caught it only to feel a sharp kick in the knee. The knee cap moved out of place, momentarily impeding all movement. His prey, that Rogue, jumped back into the darkness.
His prey was getting desperate. Normally, none of them would resort to such low hit and run tactics. The Hunter knew that the Rogue had no other choice. The nasty bullet wounds in his side must've been bleeding out by now with no way to stop it. Not if he kept running like this. The soldier grew impatient knowing that if this lasted much longer, he wouldn't be able to kill his prey himself, firsthand, and he would die like an injured animal. He was not going to let that happen.
Popping his knee cap back into place, only wincing for a moment, he let himself enjoy at least that much. Not only a sadist, loving the fear in the eyes of any opposition being topped only by their pain, he was also a masochist, reveling in his own pain. It helped him successfully overcome many obstacles as he learned to love the pain he often endured. Exhaling a sigh, he was disappointed. His kneecap was often so injured in a similar fashion in countless fights that he was becoming immune to even that much, and the joy was leaving him.
Focused once more on the task at hand and eager to finish off this wounded animal, he turned on his thermal imaging equipped into his mask. The factory did not light up in any significant manner, but the crimson footprints that was his bleeding made it a vibrant trail to follow. It was almost like cheating, but it was necessary to do so.
Jumping down a level, he followed the blood. It zigzagged across paths, moving sporadically. Then he seemed to stop as the bleeding thickened into one larger puddle, then continued to move on. It was too easy to read. A sick grin grew across the Hunters face as his stride and pace quickened to follow, feeling his pulse fire off. Twisting this way and that, the occasional stop as prompted by a puddle, then the prey moved again. This was easy.
The thought prompted him to stop. As skilled as he was, nothing is ever this easy, given the circumstances. Why would he be stopping? How has he moved so fast? The questions were pushed out of his mind and replaced by a quiet caution as he better surveyed his surroundings. He removed his mask for a moment and knelt down next to a large puddle. He squinted and realized how foolish he was. The Hunter had soon become the Prey. He picked up a rat body, still warm, and it was no doubt that this place was crawling with the vermin. His prey must have found a way to catch rats, make them bleed and lead him around the factory...but for what? Where would this end?
The Hunter knew his answers were right behind him in the form of a gun pointed in the back of his own head. The cold barrel was lightly pressed against the back of his skull.
"It appears that the cat has learned how to hunt a lion", the Hunter chuckled at his own little joke.
"It appears you don't take the situation you're in too seriously."
He chuckled a bit more, "but how can I when you're such a joke"
With fluidity, The Hunter flipped down his mask and whipped around. The gun shot off, deafening him, but he was still alive, a twisting satisfied smile creeping over his face behind his bulletproof mask. The shock delivered from a bullet being fired at point black directly at his face did not have its ill effects though. The Hunter's equilibrium was skewered and the force did snap his neck back, giving him whiplash and throwing him to the ground; above all still alive.
His leg shot back and crammed into the stomach of the Rogue in front of him like a piston. A large scream of pain shot out from his victim, but he could not fully enjoy it in his deafened state. Regardless, the Hunter must have hit the bullet wound.
The hunter groped the railing beside him and hoisted himself up. His legs were still almost jellified underneath him. He looked forward towards the Rogue just in time to see a knee right into the face. This was the most the Hunter had enjoyed himself all week. Even sprawled upon the ground, that smile stayed plastered on his face behind the mask as the magnificent pain fueled his adrenaline like fire.
The Rogue must not have had his gun anymore, for instead of a gun shot, a sharp stomp to the ribs, breaking two of them, was delivered instead.
This man must be a sadist sonovabitch as well, the Hunter thought to himself not allowing himself to scream for that man's pleasure as well as embracing his own vicious beating. Biding his time.
The Rogue knelt to the Hunter and pulled the gun out from the Hunter's holster having lost his own. It was weighted differently from his own, but in this kind of situation, who would complain. Even so, the grip bothered him as he oddly held the piece up to the Hunter's head.
"Not to be cliche, but do you happen to have any last words?", he clicked back the hammer and firmly held his positioning.
"Yes. Too many words, too little action, and way too slow."
The Hunter had regained his equilibrium, and his hearing was back as well. His arm swiftly swatted the arm away from his head, turned over and awkwardly pounced upon his enemy, prey once more. The gun was quickly coming back towards his face, but now the Hunter had the upper hand and control of the situation. Without even thinking, his muscles entangled the arm and snapped it freeing his gun.
The Hunter picked up the weapon and jammed it up against the forehead of his Prey, confident in his win.
"Now...do you have any last words?", purposely being cliche and cruelly ironic. The overwhelming feelings of victory swarmed his body. He couldn't help buy laugh. It was a great hunt, the most joy he's gotten out of a victim in a long time.
"Looks like this is a-" his last words were cut off by a gunshot. A large hole open, blood spatter and gray matter splattered.
The Hunter cackled a rotten laugh of triumph. There was no feeling like it. The adrenaline, the endorphins, all of it practically replacing the very blood in his body. Completely satisfied, he tapped the communicator on his wrist, calling HQ for clean up orders.
Then, as he punched in the last few numbers, his hearing finally was finally coming back. He heard small blips getting steadily louder. His heart froze in anticipation. Looking down, he saw in his dead prey's hand a detonator with a timer hastily counting down.
3...2...1...
A large wailing noise erupted from the small device. It was sharply cut off by explosions haphazardly bursting from various areas of the factory. It seemed that this was all a trap laid specifically for him. His ego was touched that they would go through such lengths just to trap him.
The Hunter laughed one more time, only to be drowned out by the cascade of booms breaking out into cacophony around him. His only regret being he wasn't going to be around to kill more Rogues.
(It's a work in progress, just the first draft, leave comments below with criticism.)
The heavy footsteps of the Hunter clanging out into the infinite darkness of the abandoned factory. Even as his mask muffled his breathing, the heavy exhales the soldier continued to make echoed into the darkness. Even so, the Hunter did not care. No matter how loud he stomped, he knew that it was nowhere near as loud as his prey's beating heart. The soldier had cornered him in the darkness, the game was soon coming to a close, and they both knew it. He was quick, efficient, and that's why he was always chosen to make kills like these.
They may have been of the same species, but they were of the same in the way that a domesticated house cat and lion are. The Hunter was quicker, stronger, and above all, ruthless. Even with a mask on, his enemy could never see even the briefest glimpse of mercy from his eyes. This was no different. The Hunter had already sank his teeth into this one, now all that was left was to snap the neck.
As quiet as his prey had been, the Hunter still was able to sense the faintest of sound and stopped a rusty pipe from being smashed against the back of his neck. He snapped around and caught it only to feel a sharp kick in the knee. The knee cap moved out of place, momentarily impeding all movement. His prey, that Rogue, jumped back into the darkness.
His prey was getting desperate. Normally, none of them would resort to such low hit and run tactics. The Hunter knew that the Rogue had no other choice. The nasty bullet wounds in his side must've been bleeding out by now with no way to stop it. Not if he kept running like this. The soldier grew impatient knowing that if this lasted much longer, he wouldn't be able to kill his prey himself, firsthand, and he would die like an injured animal. He was not going to let that happen.
Popping his knee cap back into place, only wincing for a moment, he let himself enjoy at least that much. Not only a sadist, loving the fear in the eyes of any opposition being topped only by their pain, he was also a masochist, reveling in his own pain. It helped him successfully overcome many obstacles as he learned to love the pain he often endured. Exhaling a sigh, he was disappointed. His kneecap was often so injured in a similar fashion in countless fights that he was becoming immune to even that much, and the joy was leaving him.
Focused once more on the task at hand and eager to finish off this wounded animal, he turned on his thermal imaging equipped into his mask. The factory did not light up in any significant manner, but the crimson footprints that was his bleeding made it a vibrant trail to follow. It was almost like cheating, but it was necessary to do so.
Jumping down a level, he followed the blood. It zigzagged across paths, moving sporadically. Then he seemed to stop as the bleeding thickened into one larger puddle, then continued to move on. It was too easy to read. A sick grin grew across the Hunters face as his stride and pace quickened to follow, feeling his pulse fire off. Twisting this way and that, the occasional stop as prompted by a puddle, then the prey moved again. This was easy.
The thought prompted him to stop. As skilled as he was, nothing is ever this easy, given the circumstances. Why would he be stopping? How has he moved so fast? The questions were pushed out of his mind and replaced by a quiet caution as he better surveyed his surroundings. He removed his mask for a moment and knelt down next to a large puddle. He squinted and realized how foolish he was. The Hunter had soon become the Prey. He picked up a rat body, still warm, and it was no doubt that this place was crawling with the vermin. His prey must have found a way to catch rats, make them bleed and lead him around the factory...but for what? Where would this end?
The Hunter knew his answers were right behind him in the form of a gun pointed in the back of his own head. The cold barrel was lightly pressed against the back of his skull.
"It appears that the cat has learned how to hunt a lion", the Hunter chuckled at his own little joke.
"It appears you don't take the situation you're in too seriously."
He chuckled a bit more, "but how can I when you're such a joke"
With fluidity, The Hunter flipped down his mask and whipped around. The gun shot off, deafening him, but he was still alive, a twisting satisfied smile creeping over his face behind his bulletproof mask. The shock delivered from a bullet being fired at point black directly at his face did not have its ill effects though. The Hunter's equilibrium was skewered and the force did snap his neck back, giving him whiplash and throwing him to the ground; above all still alive.
His leg shot back and crammed into the stomach of the Rogue in front of him like a piston. A large scream of pain shot out from his victim, but he could not fully enjoy it in his deafened state. Regardless, the Hunter must have hit the bullet wound.
The hunter groped the railing beside him and hoisted himself up. His legs were still almost jellified underneath him. He looked forward towards the Rogue just in time to see a knee right into the face. This was the most the Hunter had enjoyed himself all week. Even sprawled upon the ground, that smile stayed plastered on his face behind the mask as the magnificent pain fueled his adrenaline like fire.
The Rogue must not have had his gun anymore, for instead of a gun shot, a sharp stomp to the ribs, breaking two of them, was delivered instead.
This man must be a sadist sonovabitch as well, the Hunter thought to himself not allowing himself to scream for that man's pleasure as well as embracing his own vicious beating. Biding his time.
The Rogue knelt to the Hunter and pulled the gun out from the Hunter's holster having lost his own. It was weighted differently from his own, but in this kind of situation, who would complain. Even so, the grip bothered him as he oddly held the piece up to the Hunter's head.
"Not to be cliche, but do you happen to have any last words?", he clicked back the hammer and firmly held his positioning.
"Yes. Too many words, too little action, and way too slow."
The Hunter had regained his equilibrium, and his hearing was back as well. His arm swiftly swatted the arm away from his head, turned over and awkwardly pounced upon his enemy, prey once more. The gun was quickly coming back towards his face, but now the Hunter had the upper hand and control of the situation. Without even thinking, his muscles entangled the arm and snapped it freeing his gun.
The Hunter picked up the weapon and jammed it up against the forehead of his Prey, confident in his win.
"Now...do you have any last words?", purposely being cliche and cruelly ironic. The overwhelming feelings of victory swarmed his body. He couldn't help buy laugh. It was a great hunt, the most joy he's gotten out of a victim in a long time.
"Looks like this is a-" his last words were cut off by a gunshot. A large hole open, blood spatter and gray matter splattered.
The Hunter cackled a rotten laugh of triumph. There was no feeling like it. The adrenaline, the endorphins, all of it practically replacing the very blood in his body. Completely satisfied, he tapped the communicator on his wrist, calling HQ for clean up orders.
Then, as he punched in the last few numbers, his hearing finally was finally coming back. He heard small blips getting steadily louder. His heart froze in anticipation. Looking down, he saw in his dead prey's hand a detonator with a timer hastily counting down.
3...2...1...
A large wailing noise erupted from the small device. It was sharply cut off by explosions haphazardly bursting from various areas of the factory. It seemed that this was all a trap laid specifically for him. His ego was touched that they would go through such lengths just to trap him.
The Hunter laughed one more time, only to be drowned out by the cascade of booms breaking out into cacophony around him. His only regret being he wasn't going to be around to kill more Rogues.
(It's a work in progress, just the first draft, leave comments below with criticism.)
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
New Post
It has been a long time indeed since I posted. I've gone through a lot of things, got a job, quit that job. Working on getting a new car. Working on getting a new job. Possibly school in the future. Just...a lot of things.
However, I feel really saddened that I abandoned this project. To the...fifteen people (maybe) that started following me, tell me what you'd like to read and I will post it.
I'm thinking about posting a story that's been going on in my head, but I don't know if I want to do that yet.
I'm also thinking about posting about all my friends and the people that I know. That post about that girl felt really cathartic and was in a sick way, kind of fun, so I might post about more friends.
Regardless, I do want to post more. I feel like I disappointed some people. I resolve to do this.
Zen.
P.S. I'm also going to post the songs I'm listening to at the end of each post. Maybe it'll interest you into looking it up, expand your musical tastes a bit. Who knows.
Race Around the World by Waterflame
However, I feel really saddened that I abandoned this project. To the...fifteen people (maybe) that started following me, tell me what you'd like to read and I will post it.
I'm thinking about posting a story that's been going on in my head, but I don't know if I want to do that yet.
I'm also thinking about posting about all my friends and the people that I know. That post about that girl felt really cathartic and was in a sick way, kind of fun, so I might post about more friends.
Regardless, I do want to post more. I feel like I disappointed some people. I resolve to do this.
Zen.
P.S. I'm also going to post the songs I'm listening to at the end of each post. Maybe it'll interest you into looking it up, expand your musical tastes a bit. Who knows.
Race Around the World by Waterflame
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Workout
Nothing much to say today, or in the last few days. My internet went out for a bit...or I should say my neighbors internet went out. I started working out again, after about a week, I got a bit out of the loop, but it always feels good to work out.
Anyway, I feel like I haven't had any kind of inspiration lately, can anyone comment on things that inspire them or help inspire them?
I usually get inspire after reading something amazing or cooking, so if anyone could comment on some great books or some unique but great recipes, I'd be greatly appreciated.
Anyway, I feel like I haven't had any kind of inspiration lately, can anyone comment on things that inspire them or help inspire them?
I usually get inspire after reading something amazing or cooking, so if anyone could comment on some great books or some unique but great recipes, I'd be greatly appreciated.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
My Love(less?) Life
I guess I really don't have anything better to do, and it's not like anyone is probably going to read the whole thing, but for those of you who are interested in someone else life (or lack thereof) I guess I can oblige for a bit.
Now, not including anything before middle school, I've only had a few 'loves' in my short life. I've recently gotten out of High School, trying to look for a job (and failing miserably at it) just to give a timeline of how old I am now.
It all started in my Japanese class. There was a girl who I knew from elementary school, we didn't get along at all, but then she moved away, and I found out she moved back and was taking the class because she was a weeaboo. I took the class because I am part Japanese and I wanted to get in touch with that part of my heritage. At first, old feelings from elementary school were still kinda settled in, but the teacher paired us up on an assignment.
At first, the two of us were quite reluctant to work with each other. We quickly decided what part of the workload each of us were going to do, and set off doing our work. We worked at a faster pace than most of the class because as kids, they generally fooled around, but soon, we were done. I remember always having a book in my backpack to read during school, but I was a bit of a weeaboo myself so this particular book was a manga that I had been reading at that time. She pulled out a sketchbook and got down to work with intense focus. I could feel her eyes on me, but I thought she was staring at me with cold eyes due to my usual cynical nature.
Soon, I got done with the book (it's not like it takes very long to read one of those things) and at an attempt to strike up some kind of conversation, I asked what she was drawing. She showed me, and she was a talented artist of things other than cliche school girl anime drawings. She had pictures of beautiful environments. She then asked me what I was reading and after that, the conversation really picked up.
Days passed, and soon we were really good friends. We caught up on what we did in middle school, friends, interests, normal things. We started flirting a lot as well. I didn't realize I was flirting at the time, I never thought that I was very charming and I was never really well liked in middle school, I was the loner. What I did know was that I felt a tightening, warm feeling being around you. I started showing up early just so I could see you and whenever I got the chance, I made sure we were together just so I could be with you. I started to crave your being.
I had no idea that she liked me, even when she started dropping huge hints. I was completely oblivious to anything about girls. Then came the day when the mutual friend did her dirty work for her as kids usually do.
"So...Do you like Shelby?", she asked, with that look I would soon learn that girls would always have when they are asking on behalf of their smitten friend or really anytime when they were hiding a secret.
"Well...", I was trusting, if anything, too naive, "I-I guess so", I could feel my face start to heat up a bit, nobody can see it when I blush, but I know when it happens.
"Why?"
"Because",I was deathly embarrassed just from this short conversation. My mind was kicking me in the spine for letting her on, "Well she's pretty and funny and she's fun and I really like her laugh and...uhm...", I started rambling and thought it'd be best to stop spouting off stuff.
When I looked over, she just had this smirk on her face. I knew that look. That dirty, untrustworthy, smug lookShe was not to be trusted. I was in a panic. Life before that taught me that I was undesirable. Girls could not stand to so much as even look at me. I was a perv. I was creepy. My existence was a complete inconvenience to any females I knew (I had virtually no female friends except for two) and most of all, I was hated.
"You're not going to tell her right!? You can't!", if she did, I knew that that would be one more girl that would find me repulsive, and right after I had started to get to know her and have fun.
"No, of course not, you can trust me."
I knew that I couldn't. That may have been for the best. Or maybe with the way things are in the present, maybe it wasn't.
The next day, I was nervous to go to school. I knew her friend had told, that gut instinct that served me so well was kicking me in the spleen for being so foolish. I walked into class, and Shelby was the same as usual. I was relieved and I calmed a bit. Maybe she hadn't said anything after all. Then right after the bell rang, we went our separate ways but she left me with a note.
I was a bit confused as to why she'd give me a note out of class. I opened it up and read it; the words contained in that note are engraved into my mind even to this day. They said: "---- I really like you. Do you want to go out?"
As much as the words shocked me to the core, the fact that I was actually...wanted, what I remember the most was a girl. You drew a girl that looked like you. But I could tell that unlike your other drawings, this was not drawn just out of boredom. It was drawn with passion, with feeling. It was drawn with hopeful intentions. Every pencil stroke carried out with love. I still have that note. I could never find it in myself to deem something so heartfelt as trash.
Even if that heart is no longer there.
At first I was very wary, I was going to write a note denying her because I was so nervous, scared of what to actually do in a relationship. Scared that it could ruin our friendship. Petty, childish fears. My heart was pounding and seizing up inside me. My mind was sprinting thinking of ways to get out of it.
I was greeted with a mini stroke when Shelby popped up beside me moments later, impatience was a trait I would learn you possessed. I didn't have the nerve to deny someone in person, so almost speechless, I just nodded my head and with a nervous smile, I said yes. She squealed in delight, and hugged me.
That hug changed me. I don't know what it was, but that hug, I felt something click into place. You were so warm, and for the first time, I felt the warming embrace of another girl that I genuinely cared for.
Time went on, and we always hung out together. Always eating lunch together. You probably never knew how cute it was when you ate and made a small mess. At least you liked what you ate.
The first time I held your hand, I made sure that I'd remember the way it felt. I still do. It was so soft. So warm. I can almost feel the the ridges in my hand faintly like the ghost you now are to me. At that time, the only problem I was having was if my hand was too sweaty. In fact, I remember the first day we held hands.
I wanted to watch the sunrise with you. So I took you outside in front of our school and I sat there, and I think you started by linking your arm in mine. As our arms came to rest, my fingers soon found yours, like a magnetic attraction, and they settled. Kids made fun of us because unfortunately, in order to see the sunrise, we had to sit where the buses came in, but I was far from caring what they said. I had you.
As the days went on, we held hands, we hugged, but I could not bring myself to kiss you. I was a coward. I have a skin disease while though not contagious and not major enough to spread all over my body, it did cover my upper torso. I was afraid if she ever found out, she'd be disgusted with her discovery, my curse, and I was fearful of that pain. I was afraid that if we did kiss, it'd progress and she'd find out. I was also scared that if I was to kiss her, I might fall for her, making the pain worse if she ever did find out.
Every night and every morning, I'd make a plan to kiss her, but when it came time, I was still too cowardly. I felt my lips tingling thinking about it, and every time, I leaned in, and it came the time. But every moment, I hesitated, and the kiss became a hug. It was this cowardice that after about three months, ended it. Shelby broke up with me, and at first I was happy that I could finally stop being so fearful. People were almost shocked at the fact that I seemed so...detached. This detachment also surprised her, led her into believing that I didn't care for her anymore, or that I possible never did. I just never let any negative emotions show. Ever.
Later on in life, we moved on, and we remained good friends. There were multiple occasions where she liked me and the feeling was quite mutual. It was because of my stupidity and jealously that we never got back together. Whenever Shelby would ask me who I was crushing on, the inside of me was screaming to tell her the truth. To tell her how much she meant to me. Then 'logic' would overcome my heart. She's the one that broke up with you remember? She doesn't like you. I'd always tell her some other girl; a complete lie. I found out later, it was the same with her, though it was my detachment that led her to believe that I didn't like her, so she would always lie and tell me some other guy.
Soon, our lies became truth, and we did start dating other people, though as far as I'm concerned, there was always that piece of me that still yearned for her.
I remember a summer of content, a time you were single. So in one year, you not only began my knowledge on how much I could care for someone, you began to teach me the pleasure of the flesh. I liked a girl named Elissa, and I think she might have liked me, but I was more distracted with my love for you. I went over to that mutual friends house not for her, but because I knew you were spending the night there.
You two had almost pulled an all nighter and so was very tired. She appeared to be more exhausted then you were. I'd like to say that you were more alert because I was there, but that might be getting ahead of myself and feeding my own ego more than it deserves.
Her sister made smoothies. Who cares what kind? So long as we were both enjoying it. We got more...intimate than we probably ever had in person. I learned how to undo a bra. You wanted me to. Challenged me. You egged me on, telling me that other guys could do it with either hand. I remember the short burst of spit fire that erupted inside me just for mentioning other guys who had done what I was too much of a fucking idiot to do. I had to at least match them, and I quickly did.
Then, came the time when you struck with an opportunity I could not give up. Some of the smoothie 'dripped' onto your breasts. Even though our friend was sitting right there, even though her sister was so closer nearby, neither of us cared. I was caught up in sexual rapture, and you were in complete control. With my long tongue, I quickly cleaned it. Then I joined in and 'accidentally' spilled some of it on you. It continued until her friend subtly told us to stop. I tried to persuade you to come to the park with me, but at that time, you actually cared about what your mom thought, and so, you stayed where you were. Even though I was a bit saddened, I was caught in joy that I had never felt before.
That year, time passed and we continued on as friends as if that never happened as I found the other girl that I loved, but that's another story for another time. Eventually, that girl left for a bit, and so I moved back onto Shelby. I invited her to my 16th birthday party. As one of the most important people that had entered my life, I felt she had to be there.
I regret that.
She flirted with one of my friends there, I thought she was just trying to make me jealous. So I decided to flirt with another girl that was there. Unfortunately, the girl I was flirting with wasn't single, so it didn't progress much. Although Shelby did.
Her and my friend were laying in a bed together (it was a hotel party) and during the happy birthday song, everyone else got up, except them too. While I was genuinely happy that I had actually had a real party for the first time in my life (even if it wasn't my parents that held it) that when my friend and Shelby kissed, I didn't feel all that bummed out. I was numbed to it at that moment, but soon I felt so betrayed. Maybe I just wasn't that charming at that time, maybe he's just more likable than me, but the fact she could do that to me...
On a side note, I talked about it with him later and he was apologetic. He had no idea about the history or my feelings about Shelby.
The next year, Shelby started hanging out with the druggie crowd. She became part of the goth/scene/emo/hipster/etc. crowd. Maybe if it wasn't for her, I would not have ever became so attracted to that dark beauty, but the darker and more erratic the style got, the more attracted I became. It followed suit with every other girl as well. You always wanted to be the one striving to be 'different'. I was one of her only friends that didn't do any kind of drugs, and in the end, that's what really separated us. A couple years past, we found new loves. She started dating some guy that was really cool, I respected him.
I would be lying to say that I wasn't...glad that she was happy. I was never satisfied, I'm still not, because it wasn't me that was making her happy. I I figured that because it's high school, they'd probably break up soon, and then I could finally make my chance having matured at least a little bit. So I continued to flirt. That was enough to at least keep my hopes hanging by a thread knowing that should-no, when-you broke up, I wouldn't have to start all over. I would be there for you just like I always had, and I could be with you again.
As time went on, my hopes even as small as they were started to diminish, it soon stretched into a year. Then came the day that ultimately shocked me. Shelby cheated on him. Part of me was hopeful, yet another part of me was disappointed. She cheated on him a couple of times, and they broke up.
The summer passed, we talked a bit through the summer. I remember a couple of times talking to you through the nights, you were the best reason I've ever had for staying up late. You were the best reason I've ever had for wasting an afternoon on the phone. You and I started talking more, and you told me you fell back into love with me. My heart stopped in a frozen flame of ecstasy.
One part of me was ecstatic to hear this. I couldn't believe this, but another part of me, the weak part of me, was scared. I couldn't let myself get back into that only to have her cheat on me. My dad cheated on my mom, and after she gave him another chance, he did it again. That left the image in my mind that once somebody cheats, chances are they'll cheat again. Although, she stopped doing drugs, so I thought maybe she could change. It was ultimately this torrid fear that cause me to once again, hesitate.
After about a month, we were unofficially dating, we were doing everything that we did way back in the day. I swear it was the best feeling of nostalgia I could have ever had experienced. I would have kissed you, but the moment never called for it. Maybe that was just me and I should have regardless.
There are two things I loved the most when I was around you. Making you laugh, and giving you back massages. I once heard someone say that laughter was the greatest gift one could get and being able to make others laugh was one of the best gifts one could have. Being able to make you laugh, to give you unique moments of joy that only I could do in your stressful life was one of the only gifts that I could ever give you.
I loved giving back massages because that was the only other thing that I felt I could masterfully provide. It helped you feel so relaxed. I felt glad that I could actually do something with my hands for other people-but most importantly, you. Turning the muscles in your back from stone to liquid was almost like a mission.
You asked me many times to homecoming, but due to the complete opposite humbling nature I once had in middle school, I wanted to play the options that I did have and never officially said yes. I tried to pit that fear of your unfaithful indiscretions that everyone warned me about. Regardless, we still went to homecoming together and things were going great until you had a panic attack at the end. I still don't know why. She never told me.
I can honestly say that after the slow dance that we had together, it was then that I realized how much I loved you. I knew I always liked you, and I knew that I always found you attractive, in both a sexual and a non sexual way, but it wasn't till this that my feelings bloomed.
In the dark of the gym that we danced in, I held you close to me. I don't even remember any thoughts that I could voice at that time, at this time, or ever will be able to. Your body held me at such comfort, I was feeling like I was melting into bliss. I caressed your tender body like the glowing jewel you were in the moment. My hand rested on the small of your back, a place where your skin was exposed. It was so soft, and you felt so fragile underneath my fingertips, but I didn't think about how fragile you were making me. Your warmth ensnared my slowly beating heart as I pleaded with whatever force was out there to make the song play on repeat. I rested my head onto yours as I held you closer to me, unafraid of the romantic intimacy. The sweet, aromatic scent captivated me. I could feel it tickle my nostrils. You smelled as sweet as the flower you were, blooming along with my euphoria at the pure affection. It left me with a strange contradiction. It was the most I think I have ever felt, but yet it left me numb.
When the very end of the night came, I leaned in for the kiss, my time had come, but I felt the cold, biting eyes of my little sister, and could not take it. She had ruined the moment. She looked on the with dead interest of a bored and detached kid staring at an uninteresting animal at the zoo. The only difference was I know on the inside of her, she was a predator, planning on using that kiss as ammo for the future. The moment was lost and I could not bare to kiss Shelby anymore. The moment I firmly grasped was quickly torn away.
The day after, you acted unusually cold. I tried flirting, and she never responded. Anytime I touched her, she acted disgusted and would withdraw and on a couple of occasions, threatened me. I thought maybe she was in a bad mood, maybe she was PMS'ing and decided to just give her some time and space. Yet, after a week and a half, nothing changed. I confronted her about it, and she said words that killed me.
"I don't like you anymore. I can't like somebody I'm not physically attracted to."
I was devastated. I didn't show it. I let slide and pretend that it didn't bother me. I probably even tricked myself; felt no pain. I just went on the next day shrugging it off because that's the kind of person I am. I am strong. Nothing could bring me to emotional weakness or crippling. I wasn't as flirty (or fun and friendly as she called it) and I didn't put her higher than almost everyone else on my priorities. She became equal to everyone. We talked it out, she accepted it.
Months went by, graduation started to become a major priority in people's lives as soon college would be. We went back to our normal dating lives. She was more successful than I was though. On a downside, she went back to drugs. I feel like I might have been partially responsible. Maybe if I did go out with her, I could've kept her happy enough so she wouldn't have gone back, but there's nothing I can do now.
We graduated, and she moved right down the street from me, I couldn't have been happier. I thought it was going to be a great thing. Even though she had a boyfriend, in the past couple of years, I realized I couldn't let something like that stop me.
Unfortunately, she is just as distant as ever. Now, all she does is do drugs. She's always getting high, always getting drunk, always tripping, always smoking. She's become dependent and reliant on them, and all of her 'friends' just keep on digging her deeper and deeper in the hole. The few times we have talked, it was because she was upset that one of her friends got high or drunk and then something would happen. Maybe I just don't understand what it's like to do drugs, but after being around it for so long in my family and knowing how bad just being around people who do it has fucked my life it, I know that her life is just going to go down until she realizes that she fucked up.
I don't love who she is now. All she does is get high. She uses it as a crutch to get through her lack of life. I do miss her though. I miss everything that she was and the great person she could have been. I just wish she could have seen that person in herself before all of that.
Shelby, if you somehow stumble upon this, you know who I am.
I loved you.
And I always did.
And I always will.
For those of you who read all of this, I applaud you for reading all this whiny shit from an anon who had nothing better to do with their time. I truly appreciate you reading all this. Comment whatever the hell you want at this point. If you want, there's a couple other stories, but only if somebody is interested, even if it's just one person.
Too fucking long; Didn't read
Fell in love, I fucked up too many times. She fucked up too many times. Things are most likely unrepairable.
Now, not including anything before middle school, I've only had a few 'loves' in my short life. I've recently gotten out of High School, trying to look for a job (and failing miserably at it) just to give a timeline of how old I am now.
It all started in my Japanese class. There was a girl who I knew from elementary school, we didn't get along at all, but then she moved away, and I found out she moved back and was taking the class because she was a weeaboo. I took the class because I am part Japanese and I wanted to get in touch with that part of my heritage. At first, old feelings from elementary school were still kinda settled in, but the teacher paired us up on an assignment.
At first, the two of us were quite reluctant to work with each other. We quickly decided what part of the workload each of us were going to do, and set off doing our work. We worked at a faster pace than most of the class because as kids, they generally fooled around, but soon, we were done. I remember always having a book in my backpack to read during school, but I was a bit of a weeaboo myself so this particular book was a manga that I had been reading at that time. She pulled out a sketchbook and got down to work with intense focus. I could feel her eyes on me, but I thought she was staring at me with cold eyes due to my usual cynical nature.
Soon, I got done with the book (it's not like it takes very long to read one of those things) and at an attempt to strike up some kind of conversation, I asked what she was drawing. She showed me, and she was a talented artist of things other than cliche school girl anime drawings. She had pictures of beautiful environments. She then asked me what I was reading and after that, the conversation really picked up.
Days passed, and soon we were really good friends. We caught up on what we did in middle school, friends, interests, normal things. We started flirting a lot as well. I didn't realize I was flirting at the time, I never thought that I was very charming and I was never really well liked in middle school, I was the loner. What I did know was that I felt a tightening, warm feeling being around you. I started showing up early just so I could see you and whenever I got the chance, I made sure we were together just so I could be with you. I started to crave your being.
I had no idea that she liked me, even when she started dropping huge hints. I was completely oblivious to anything about girls. Then came the day when the mutual friend did her dirty work for her as kids usually do.
"So...Do you like Shelby?", she asked, with that look I would soon learn that girls would always have when they are asking on behalf of their smitten friend or really anytime when they were hiding a secret.
"Well...", I was trusting, if anything, too naive, "I-I guess so", I could feel my face start to heat up a bit, nobody can see it when I blush, but I know when it happens.
"Why?"
"Because",I was deathly embarrassed just from this short conversation. My mind was kicking me in the spine for letting her on, "Well she's pretty and funny and she's fun and I really like her laugh and...uhm...", I started rambling and thought it'd be best to stop spouting off stuff.
When I looked over, she just had this smirk on her face. I knew that look. That dirty, untrustworthy, smug lookShe was not to be trusted. I was in a panic. Life before that taught me that I was undesirable. Girls could not stand to so much as even look at me. I was a perv. I was creepy. My existence was a complete inconvenience to any females I knew (I had virtually no female friends except for two) and most of all, I was hated.
"You're not going to tell her right!? You can't!", if she did, I knew that that would be one more girl that would find me repulsive, and right after I had started to get to know her and have fun.
"No, of course not, you can trust me."
I knew that I couldn't. That may have been for the best. Or maybe with the way things are in the present, maybe it wasn't.
The next day, I was nervous to go to school. I knew her friend had told, that gut instinct that served me so well was kicking me in the spleen for being so foolish. I walked into class, and Shelby was the same as usual. I was relieved and I calmed a bit. Maybe she hadn't said anything after all. Then right after the bell rang, we went our separate ways but she left me with a note.
I was a bit confused as to why she'd give me a note out of class. I opened it up and read it; the words contained in that note are engraved into my mind even to this day. They said: "---- I really like you. Do you want to go out?"
As much as the words shocked me to the core, the fact that I was actually...wanted, what I remember the most was a girl. You drew a girl that looked like you. But I could tell that unlike your other drawings, this was not drawn just out of boredom. It was drawn with passion, with feeling. It was drawn with hopeful intentions. Every pencil stroke carried out with love. I still have that note. I could never find it in myself to deem something so heartfelt as trash.
Even if that heart is no longer there.
At first I was very wary, I was going to write a note denying her because I was so nervous, scared of what to actually do in a relationship. Scared that it could ruin our friendship. Petty, childish fears. My heart was pounding and seizing up inside me. My mind was sprinting thinking of ways to get out of it.
I was greeted with a mini stroke when Shelby popped up beside me moments later, impatience was a trait I would learn you possessed. I didn't have the nerve to deny someone in person, so almost speechless, I just nodded my head and with a nervous smile, I said yes. She squealed in delight, and hugged me.
That hug changed me. I don't know what it was, but that hug, I felt something click into place. You were so warm, and for the first time, I felt the warming embrace of another girl that I genuinely cared for.
Time went on, and we always hung out together. Always eating lunch together. You probably never knew how cute it was when you ate and made a small mess. At least you liked what you ate.
The first time I held your hand, I made sure that I'd remember the way it felt. I still do. It was so soft. So warm. I can almost feel the the ridges in my hand faintly like the ghost you now are to me. At that time, the only problem I was having was if my hand was too sweaty. In fact, I remember the first day we held hands.
I wanted to watch the sunrise with you. So I took you outside in front of our school and I sat there, and I think you started by linking your arm in mine. As our arms came to rest, my fingers soon found yours, like a magnetic attraction, and they settled. Kids made fun of us because unfortunately, in order to see the sunrise, we had to sit where the buses came in, but I was far from caring what they said. I had you.
As the days went on, we held hands, we hugged, but I could not bring myself to kiss you. I was a coward. I have a skin disease while though not contagious and not major enough to spread all over my body, it did cover my upper torso. I was afraid if she ever found out, she'd be disgusted with her discovery, my curse, and I was fearful of that pain. I was afraid that if we did kiss, it'd progress and she'd find out. I was also scared that if I was to kiss her, I might fall for her, making the pain worse if she ever did find out.
Every night and every morning, I'd make a plan to kiss her, but when it came time, I was still too cowardly. I felt my lips tingling thinking about it, and every time, I leaned in, and it came the time. But every moment, I hesitated, and the kiss became a hug. It was this cowardice that after about three months, ended it. Shelby broke up with me, and at first I was happy that I could finally stop being so fearful. People were almost shocked at the fact that I seemed so...detached. This detachment also surprised her, led her into believing that I didn't care for her anymore, or that I possible never did. I just never let any negative emotions show. Ever.
Later on in life, we moved on, and we remained good friends. There were multiple occasions where she liked me and the feeling was quite mutual. It was because of my stupidity and jealously that we never got back together. Whenever Shelby would ask me who I was crushing on, the inside of me was screaming to tell her the truth. To tell her how much she meant to me. Then 'logic' would overcome my heart. She's the one that broke up with you remember? She doesn't like you. I'd always tell her some other girl; a complete lie. I found out later, it was the same with her, though it was my detachment that led her to believe that I didn't like her, so she would always lie and tell me some other guy.
Soon, our lies became truth, and we did start dating other people, though as far as I'm concerned, there was always that piece of me that still yearned for her.
I remember a summer of content, a time you were single. So in one year, you not only began my knowledge on how much I could care for someone, you began to teach me the pleasure of the flesh. I liked a girl named Elissa, and I think she might have liked me, but I was more distracted with my love for you. I went over to that mutual friends house not for her, but because I knew you were spending the night there.
You two had almost pulled an all nighter and so was very tired. She appeared to be more exhausted then you were. I'd like to say that you were more alert because I was there, but that might be getting ahead of myself and feeding my own ego more than it deserves.
Her sister made smoothies. Who cares what kind? So long as we were both enjoying it. We got more...intimate than we probably ever had in person. I learned how to undo a bra. You wanted me to. Challenged me. You egged me on, telling me that other guys could do it with either hand. I remember the short burst of spit fire that erupted inside me just for mentioning other guys who had done what I was too much of a fucking idiot to do. I had to at least match them, and I quickly did.
Then, came the time when you struck with an opportunity I could not give up. Some of the smoothie 'dripped' onto your breasts. Even though our friend was sitting right there, even though her sister was so closer nearby, neither of us cared. I was caught up in sexual rapture, and you were in complete control. With my long tongue, I quickly cleaned it. Then I joined in and 'accidentally' spilled some of it on you. It continued until her friend subtly told us to stop. I tried to persuade you to come to the park with me, but at that time, you actually cared about what your mom thought, and so, you stayed where you were. Even though I was a bit saddened, I was caught in joy that I had never felt before.
That year, time passed and we continued on as friends as if that never happened as I found the other girl that I loved, but that's another story for another time. Eventually, that girl left for a bit, and so I moved back onto Shelby. I invited her to my 16th birthday party. As one of the most important people that had entered my life, I felt she had to be there.
I regret that.
She flirted with one of my friends there, I thought she was just trying to make me jealous. So I decided to flirt with another girl that was there. Unfortunately, the girl I was flirting with wasn't single, so it didn't progress much. Although Shelby did.
Her and my friend were laying in a bed together (it was a hotel party) and during the happy birthday song, everyone else got up, except them too. While I was genuinely happy that I had actually had a real party for the first time in my life (even if it wasn't my parents that held it) that when my friend and Shelby kissed, I didn't feel all that bummed out. I was numbed to it at that moment, but soon I felt so betrayed. Maybe I just wasn't that charming at that time, maybe he's just more likable than me, but the fact she could do that to me...
On a side note, I talked about it with him later and he was apologetic. He had no idea about the history or my feelings about Shelby.
The next year, Shelby started hanging out with the druggie crowd. She became part of the goth/scene/emo/hipster/etc. crowd. Maybe if it wasn't for her, I would not have ever became so attracted to that dark beauty, but the darker and more erratic the style got, the more attracted I became. It followed suit with every other girl as well. You always wanted to be the one striving to be 'different'. I was one of her only friends that didn't do any kind of drugs, and in the end, that's what really separated us. A couple years past, we found new loves. She started dating some guy that was really cool, I respected him.
I would be lying to say that I wasn't...glad that she was happy. I was never satisfied, I'm still not, because it wasn't me that was making her happy. I I figured that because it's high school, they'd probably break up soon, and then I could finally make my chance having matured at least a little bit. So I continued to flirt. That was enough to at least keep my hopes hanging by a thread knowing that should-no, when-you broke up, I wouldn't have to start all over. I would be there for you just like I always had, and I could be with you again.
As time went on, my hopes even as small as they were started to diminish, it soon stretched into a year. Then came the day that ultimately shocked me. Shelby cheated on him. Part of me was hopeful, yet another part of me was disappointed. She cheated on him a couple of times, and they broke up.
The summer passed, we talked a bit through the summer. I remember a couple of times talking to you through the nights, you were the best reason I've ever had for staying up late. You were the best reason I've ever had for wasting an afternoon on the phone. You and I started talking more, and you told me you fell back into love with me. My heart stopped in a frozen flame of ecstasy.
One part of me was ecstatic to hear this. I couldn't believe this, but another part of me, the weak part of me, was scared. I couldn't let myself get back into that only to have her cheat on me. My dad cheated on my mom, and after she gave him another chance, he did it again. That left the image in my mind that once somebody cheats, chances are they'll cheat again. Although, she stopped doing drugs, so I thought maybe she could change. It was ultimately this torrid fear that cause me to once again, hesitate.
After about a month, we were unofficially dating, we were doing everything that we did way back in the day. I swear it was the best feeling of nostalgia I could have ever had experienced. I would have kissed you, but the moment never called for it. Maybe that was just me and I should have regardless.
There are two things I loved the most when I was around you. Making you laugh, and giving you back massages. I once heard someone say that laughter was the greatest gift one could get and being able to make others laugh was one of the best gifts one could have. Being able to make you laugh, to give you unique moments of joy that only I could do in your stressful life was one of the only gifts that I could ever give you.
I loved giving back massages because that was the only other thing that I felt I could masterfully provide. It helped you feel so relaxed. I felt glad that I could actually do something with my hands for other people-but most importantly, you. Turning the muscles in your back from stone to liquid was almost like a mission.
You asked me many times to homecoming, but due to the complete opposite humbling nature I once had in middle school, I wanted to play the options that I did have and never officially said yes. I tried to pit that fear of your unfaithful indiscretions that everyone warned me about. Regardless, we still went to homecoming together and things were going great until you had a panic attack at the end. I still don't know why. She never told me.
I can honestly say that after the slow dance that we had together, it was then that I realized how much I loved you. I knew I always liked you, and I knew that I always found you attractive, in both a sexual and a non sexual way, but it wasn't till this that my feelings bloomed.
In the dark of the gym that we danced in, I held you close to me. I don't even remember any thoughts that I could voice at that time, at this time, or ever will be able to. Your body held me at such comfort, I was feeling like I was melting into bliss. I caressed your tender body like the glowing jewel you were in the moment. My hand rested on the small of your back, a place where your skin was exposed. It was so soft, and you felt so fragile underneath my fingertips, but I didn't think about how fragile you were making me. Your warmth ensnared my slowly beating heart as I pleaded with whatever force was out there to make the song play on repeat. I rested my head onto yours as I held you closer to me, unafraid of the romantic intimacy. The sweet, aromatic scent captivated me. I could feel it tickle my nostrils. You smelled as sweet as the flower you were, blooming along with my euphoria at the pure affection. It left me with a strange contradiction. It was the most I think I have ever felt, but yet it left me numb.
When the very end of the night came, I leaned in for the kiss, my time had come, but I felt the cold, biting eyes of my little sister, and could not take it. She had ruined the moment. She looked on the with dead interest of a bored and detached kid staring at an uninteresting animal at the zoo. The only difference was I know on the inside of her, she was a predator, planning on using that kiss as ammo for the future. The moment was lost and I could not bare to kiss Shelby anymore. The moment I firmly grasped was quickly torn away.
The day after, you acted unusually cold. I tried flirting, and she never responded. Anytime I touched her, she acted disgusted and would withdraw and on a couple of occasions, threatened me. I thought maybe she was in a bad mood, maybe she was PMS'ing and decided to just give her some time and space. Yet, after a week and a half, nothing changed. I confronted her about it, and she said words that killed me.
"I don't like you anymore. I can't like somebody I'm not physically attracted to."
I was devastated. I didn't show it. I let slide and pretend that it didn't bother me. I probably even tricked myself; felt no pain. I just went on the next day shrugging it off because that's the kind of person I am. I am strong. Nothing could bring me to emotional weakness or crippling. I wasn't as flirty (or fun and friendly as she called it) and I didn't put her higher than almost everyone else on my priorities. She became equal to everyone. We talked it out, she accepted it.
Months went by, graduation started to become a major priority in people's lives as soon college would be. We went back to our normal dating lives. She was more successful than I was though. On a downside, she went back to drugs. I feel like I might have been partially responsible. Maybe if I did go out with her, I could've kept her happy enough so she wouldn't have gone back, but there's nothing I can do now.
We graduated, and she moved right down the street from me, I couldn't have been happier. I thought it was going to be a great thing. Even though she had a boyfriend, in the past couple of years, I realized I couldn't let something like that stop me.
Unfortunately, she is just as distant as ever. Now, all she does is do drugs. She's always getting high, always getting drunk, always tripping, always smoking. She's become dependent and reliant on them, and all of her 'friends' just keep on digging her deeper and deeper in the hole. The few times we have talked, it was because she was upset that one of her friends got high or drunk and then something would happen. Maybe I just don't understand what it's like to do drugs, but after being around it for so long in my family and knowing how bad just being around people who do it has fucked my life it, I know that her life is just going to go down until she realizes that she fucked up.
I don't love who she is now. All she does is get high. She uses it as a crutch to get through her lack of life. I do miss her though. I miss everything that she was and the great person she could have been. I just wish she could have seen that person in herself before all of that.
Shelby, if you somehow stumble upon this, you know who I am.
I loved you.
And I always did.
And I always will.
For those of you who read all of this, I applaud you for reading all this whiny shit from an anon who had nothing better to do with their time. I truly appreciate you reading all this. Comment whatever the hell you want at this point. If you want, there's a couple other stories, but only if somebody is interested, even if it's just one person.
Too fucking long; Didn't read
Fell in love, I fucked up too many times. She fucked up too many times. Things are most likely unrepairable.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Followers
I don't think my followers widget is working. Can anyone see it (and thus follow me) or am I the only that can't? Comments would help. Thank you.
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